In this older (1995) book, a girl named Elly observes her grandfather’s bias against her Uncle Ned and Ned’s “friend,” Uncle Phil—but also sees the start of an attempt at acceptance.
Elly loves to visit and do crafts with her two uncles, and one day makes a diorama with Ned for her grandparents’ anniversary. Before the anniversary party, however, she hears her grandfather say that Ned’s “friend” isn’t welcome in his house. When Ned learns this, he doesn’t want to come, either.
Elly doesn’t understand why, until her dad explains that they’re gay, which means they love each other like a married couple. He also explains that when two women love each other this way, they’re called lesbians. “It’s the way they are, just as Mommy and I are the way we are.”
He adds that some people don’t think it’s right for two men or two women to be a couple, but he thinks it’s wrong to hurt them “just because of who they happen to be.” He also notes that some people think gays will try to make others gay.
The girl seems to understand, but worries that the diorama, which Ned was supposed to bring, won’t arrive for the party. Ned then drives up and hands Grampy a box. Grampy asks if he’ll come to the party, but he stands firm, saying, “Not without Phil.”
At the party, the grandparents are delighted with the present, and Grampy seems to have a change of heart, noting that Ned wasn’t there “because of a stubborn old man” but that he “is loved by us all.”
The next day, after church, they stop by to see Uncle Ned. The grandmother goes into the house, hugs both men, and thanks them for the diorama. Elly tells them that Grampy says thank you, too. She takes them to the window so they can wave at Grampy, waiting outside by the car. “And Grampy waved back.”
Despite the dated language of “friend” instead of “partner” or “spouse,” this is a charmingly direct explanation of lesbian and gay identities and of homophobia. I also like that Grampy, while clearly coming around, isn’t quite there yet. I hope he gets there eventually; but his gradual process feels realistic and may be more akin to what some children may encounter.
