On Riley’s first day of school, she is dropped off by her two dads and notices other children with parents and guardians of different types. Another child immediately asks “Which one is your dad dad? And where is your mom?” Riley, who is Black, explains that they both are, and that her “belly mommy” doesn’t live with them. Another child insists, “One mom and one dad make a baby and that makes a family. So which dad is the real dad?”
Riley wonders if she has to pick. She reflects on the various ways she’s like each of her dads (one Black and one White) and like her “belly mommy” (also Black). She likes to bake cookies like Daddy and shoot hoops like Papa; she’s a good swimmer like Daddy and a good singer like Papa. Indeed, she’s “Papa’s Princess” and “Daddy’s Dragon.” When her dads pick her up, though, she is crying and upset because she doesn’t want to have to choose between them. They explain that she doesn’t have to; families come in many forms and love is what makes a family.
The book is thoughtfully done, and will likely be helpful for children dealing with intrusive questions—but Riley’s crying could also plant fears where none existed. I think it’s telling that in the the latest (2015) edition of Lesléa Newman’s classic Heather Has Two Mommies, Heather no longer cries as she did in the 1989 original when she thinks about whether she’s the only one in her class without a daddy; now, she merely wonders. That, to me, feels like a gentler way to approach family difference with young readers, to whom it may never have occurred that having a “different” family is something to cry about. Obviously, different children will respond to such situations differently—and for children who have experienced worries over them, Papa, Daddy, and Riley offers compassion and support. I’d like to imagine, however, that Riley, now that she has talked with her dads, will take Elvi’s approach the next time she faces similar questions.
