There are now a number of LGBTQ-inclusive picture books that explain (with varying degrees of success) creating a family via assisted reproduction or adoption. There are also a host of LGBTQ-inclusive middle-grade titles about bodies and puberty, which sometimes explain the basics of human reproduction. To the best of my knowledge, though, there has not yet been a middle-grade book that delves deeply into the many ways of family creation and gives youth a detailed look at the ways they may have been created or might someday use to create their own families. This book is an attempt to fill that gap, and it is mostly successful, although there is one omission and one dangerous error that give me pause.
Rachel HS Ginocchio, who holds a master’s degree in public health and has a career in sexuality health education, covers the biological elements needed to create a baby; what is involved in insemination, in vitro fertilization (IVF), and surrogacy; the perspectives of donor-conceived people (including one with a trans parent); and foster care and adoption. She is inclusive of all genders and sexualities throughout and includes LGBTQ individuals in the many stories of actual families that are woven into the book. While she mentions that sex is one way that some people may have a baby, she does not position this as the only or standard way of doing so. “There are just as many reasons why sex does not work for people to grow their family,” she notes. These reasons could be that they are a same-sex couple without all the necessary ingredients; that they don’t want to pass on a genetic condition to their children; that one or both parents is infertile, or that “they do not want to have sex to bring them into their lives” (which I read as a nice nod to asexual folks).
Ginocchio covers not only the mechanics of assisted reproduction, but also topics like the different types of sperm donors (known, unknown, identity release); shifting demographics of sperm bank customers (increasingly single women and two-woman couples), why donor agreements are important, donor registries and donor siblings, and approximate costs of various family-creation methods. We see not only the perspectives of families created via these methods, but also of sperm and egg donors and a surrogate.
The one unfortunate omission is that there is no mention of reciprocal IVF (RIVF), where one member of a two-uterus couple contributes an egg that the other carries. (I should know; my spouse and I did this.) Although the diagram explaining IVF does show that uterus, egg, and sperm may all be contributed by the intended parent(s), I think it’s a stretch to assume readers will make the connection that a two-uterus couple can share in the egg and uterus duties. I would have liked to see this noted more clearly in the text. Also, there’s a term for it—reciprocal IVF (or sometimes reception of oocytes from partner (ROPA))—and in a book that is otherwise excellent in introducing readers to the various terms related to family creation, this feels like an oversight.
The one dangerous error is the assertion, “In the US, a birth certificate establishes parentage—who a child’s legal parents are.” No. No no no no. As I have written numerous times (and checked with numerous LGBTQ legal experts), a birth certificate is not a court document and does not legally establish parentage. Lambda Legal explains, “Ultimately a birth certificate is only evidence of parentage; in and of itself it does not conclusively confer a legal parental status.” This is why nonbiological and nongestational parents in same-sex couples are advised to get a confirmatory, co-parent (second-parent), or stepparent) adoption in order to secure their legal parentage. Being on our children’s birth certificates is not enough, as a recent Oklahoma case has shown. Ginnochio is not talking about same-sex couples when she writes the above sentence, but rather discussing how an adopted child’s original birth certificate is sealed, and a new one with their adoptive parents on it is issued. Nevertheless, her statement is an incorrect and dangerous assertion, especially given that kids with LGBTQ families and LGBTQ youth themselves (and their grown-ups) may be reading it.
I hope the above errors are corrected in a future edition of this otherwise helpful and LGBTQ-inclusive book, for I really did appreciate most of it. It offers a combination of clear explanations without being patronizing, useful diagrams, and engaging profiles of real families. Middle-graders whose families were created via assisted reproduction (including surrogacy), foster care, or adoption, or youth who may feel that one of these paths might be theirs in the future, should find much value in it.
