A girl learns to support her nonbinary sibling both at home and in public in this book about siblinghood and allyship.
Evelyn doesn’t understand why her older sibling Tessa is changing, not wanting to play the games they used to play together, and often staying behind a closed door listening to music. Finally, Tessa emerges to say, “I’m not your sister anymore.”
Evelyn, who clearly knows a thing or two about gender, replies, “Cool! I always wanted a brother”—but Tessa corrects her to explain that she just wants to be called a sibling.
Tessa also corrects Evelyn when Evelyn calls Tessa “she”—but Evelyn quickly catches on in only a week. Still, although Tessa now plays with Evelyn again (“sometimes”), Tessa clearly has a lot on their mind, and no longer smiles, even at funny videos.
Evelyn then helps their parents to use the correct language as well. When Evelyn worries that people will think Tessa is a girl if they ride their old “girl’s” bike, Tessa replies, “I’m sure you’ll let everyone know,” thus conveying that she’s okay with Evelyn doing so.
Evelyn then assists others in their community, for example, correcting a neighbor who refers to Tessa as Evelyn’s sister and telling a store clerk that the two of them shouldn’t be referred to as “girls.” Their mom suggests that not everyone needs to know about Tessa’s gender, and their dad thinks people will be confused—but Evelyn sees Tessa’s mouth twitch and knows she’s doing the right thing. Indeed, later in the day, their parents correct some new neighbors (who assumed they had two girls) and explain that Tessa is nonbinary—and Evelyn is delighted to see Tessa finally smile again.
There are now several picture books that explore a child’s response when a sibling comes out as trans (My Sister, Daisy; Sam Is My Sister; Jack (Not Jackie)), and one where the sibling is gender creative (Sparkle Boy) but this is the first one I am aware of that offers a similar tale with a specifically nonbinary sibling. It also gives us a model not only of familial support, but also of how a sibling may spread allyship in the wider community.
Overall, this is a lovely book of sibling affirmation; adult readers may, however, want to remind young ones that not every nonbinary person feels as Tessa does, and that some would prefer to give clear and explicit approval each time before being outed in public by a sibling. This story supportively offers one way of showing allyship, but we should remember that every family situation is different.
Backmatter includes further details on what it means to be nonbinary, to be an ally, and what pronouns are.
