This book by U.K.-based birth and postnatal doula AJ Silver is aimed primarily at helping birth professionals better understand and support their LGBTQ clients. It covers topics such as inclusive language, LGBTQ paths to pregnancy, the intersections of LGBTQ and racial/ethnic identities, neurodiversity, mental health, lactation, and more.
After some introductory chapters on terminology, inclusive language, and intersectionality, the book consists mostly of interviews and conversations Silver has had with a variety of LGBTQ parents and birth professionals, including well-known trans parents Jake Graf and Freddy McConnell. Silver adds some commentary between these conversations as well. “My role in this book is to be a doula for you in the process,” they write. “To walk alongside you and point out interesting and important aspects as you read.” The interviews all offer insightful looks at their subjects’ lives; I appreciate that we get to hear their unfiltered voices. At the same time, because they cover so much material, a little more trimming and summarizing in certain places might have better helped readers, especially those new to LGBTQ lives, to focus on some of the key takeaways. Nevertheless, the insights they provide are valuable.
I also wish space had been given in the chapter on neurodiversity to other forms of neurodiversity besides autism, although the information on autism and being allies to autistic people is important and useful.
Much of the information here relates to LGBTQ people’s interactions with the U.K.’s National Health Service (NHS) and laws. Readers elsewhere will have to figure out how their own healthcare systems and laws cover LGBTQ prospective parents and parents, although the varied experiences of LGBTQ people in this book should at least indicate the range of possible responses and concerns. (Some points, of course, like the need for inclusive documents and forms, easily translate across borders.) That’s not a criticism, just a note on what to expect.
While much of the book is aimed at educating those who have minimal experience working with LGBTQ prospective parents, even those who have more are likely to learn something new from the wide range of stories here, showing, as Silver says, “We are here, we are queer, we procreate. Get used to it.”
