An inclusive, sex-positive sex-ed book for teens that encourages readers to develop critical thinking skills around some of the “big questions” about sex, consent, relationships, and themselves. This is not a “how-to” book about sex or a set of dire warnings about STDs, unwanted pregnancies, and the like. In contrast, it encourages young people of all genders and sexual orientations to think deeply about sex, relationships, and themselves so they can develop a “sexual ethic” in accord with their own values. This can help build a “culture of consent” that is about more than just saying yes or no, but which requires us to listen to and learn about our partners as well as ourselves.
Throughout the book, Freitas never assumes that readers have a particular gender or sexual identity or come from a particular religious or political background. She’s looking at “big questions” that impact everyone. The book is informed by her research with college students about sex and relationships, but it’s intended as a book for high schoolers, motivated by what the college students wished they knew when they were younger. Despite her conversational and accessible language, the length of the text (300+ pages with back matter) and depth of the topics incline this towards older teens, but some younger ones may also find value in it—and I’d recommend it for all parents of tweens and teens so that we can better help our children (and maybe even ourselves) become thoughtful about the topics covered.
