The protagonist’s parents named them Edward, but they tell us at the beginning of this first-person narrative, “When I think of the name Edward, I imagine old kings who snore a lot.” We then travel with them from age 6 through age 18, with each year bringing a new awareness about their gender identity as well as negative messages from the outside world. Their father says they should look and act like a boy and yells at him when he doesn’t; their mother is somewhat more accepting; and school is isolating and frightening. “I hate my voice so much,” they tell us at age 11. “I don’t have anyone I can talk to.” At age 13, “I want to disappear from the world. I don’t want people to make fun of me,” and at 16, “I want to run away.”
By 17, though, “I feel strong now. I am ready to face my fears.” A year later, they tell their parents, “I am neither a boy nor a girl…. My name is Ari. I can be anyone I want to be!”
We never learn what caused this shift from fear to strength, however, which might have been helpful for readers figuring out how to face their own fears—but this is nevertheless a story of growth and empowerment. John’s illustrations enhance the text by bringing the protagonist’s fears to allegorical and somewhat surreal life. We see Ari climbing over the larger-than-life heads of the old king Edwards, then wandering through hills full of tree stumps into which are embedded giant scissors, like the ones their dad used to cut their hair, while the doll that is their superhero flies across the sky in the background. Ari and his parents have light brown skin.
The focus on Ari’s fears may resonate with readers facing their own, although some children could be frightened by the multitude of Ari’s challenges and the many years until happiness. Probably not the best book as an introduction to gender identity and nonbinary people, as it could give the mistaken impression that all nonbinary people’s lives are an unremitting struggle until they become adults, but for those who are in the midst of similar experiences, it just might offer them hope.
