The One Who Loves You the Most

“I have never felt like I belonged to my body,” says 12-year-old narrator Gabriela at the beginning of this novel of self-discovery and growth. “It seems like most people figure out where they belong by knowing where they came from.” That approach doesn’t work for Gabriela, however. They were adopted from Honduras and are living with their White mother in Brooklyn. At school, they take Spanish classes but aren’t fluent, and still feel more White than Hispanic. And their body “was growing in places I was increasingly becoming more and more uncomfortable about.”

This has all made it hard for Gabriela to make friends. One boy in school teases them for being a “weirdo” and “queer.” Luckily, Gabriela has a loving relationship with their mother, although their mother’s depression sometimes means Gabriela must care for her instead of the other way around.

The start of a new school year brings two new students to their school, however, and both are queer. Abbie, a transgender, intersex, Indian- and Peruvian-American, girl, and Héctor, a bisexual, genderfluid, Guatemalan-American, soon see Gabriela as a kindred spirit and help give them the concepts and the language to better understand their own emerging identity as a nonbinary, asexual person. A class assignment to write about being their own authentic self adds focus to Gabriela’s exploration.

While some of Gabriela’s self-realization may happen slightly fast, and some of their friends’ explanations of LGBTQ concepts read a bit like an LGBTQ youth guide, neither is a real negative. The former keeps the story fast-paced, and the characters are all so likeable that their explanations ultimately convey enthusiasm more than preachiness. Additional queer characters, including a teacher who is a trans man, offer more perspectives and depth. A secondary storyline involving the boy who called Gabriela names also shows how bullying can be learned across generations—but also how the cycle can be broken.

I love how this book shows young queer people working together to help each other, whether it is to better understand their own multifarious identities, to stand up against individual and societal oppression, or to navigate personal relationships. Adults in their lives are supportive, too (or quickly come around). While the book doesn’t hide the challenges that queer youth and youth of color may face, it also offers readers one very important gift: a vision of community and hope.

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