The Science of Being Angry

Nicole Melleby has already established herself as one of the leading queer writers of queer-inclusive middle-grade fiction, and one who looks with particular candor and thoughtfulness at mental health. Her talents are again on display in this story centered on 11-year-old Joey, who feels angry all the time and doesn’t understand why. Her two moms are loving. She gets along with the two siblings who are part of her triplet trio and with their older half brother, from one mom’s previous heterosexual marriage. Yet Joey lashes out with her classmates and family, sometimes physically—and one incident resulted in their family being evicted from their apartment.

Joey does not want to be like this, but also doesn’t know how to stop her responses. Being the only girl on the boy’s hockey team and encountering bullying from a teammate doesn’t help. Readers will sense, though, that the bully enjoys being mean; Joey doesn’t, and is determined to find out why she gets angry and to stop it.

When Joey’s science class begins to study genetics—always a tricky subject to navigate for someone with a biological and a nonbiological parent—she begins to wonder if the genetics she inherited from her anonymous sperm donor have anything to do with her anger. Together with her friend Layla, she tries to secretly track him down—but her relationship with Layla is complicated because even though Joey has a growing crush on her, Joey has treated her poorly, too, when angry.

Melleby sensitively shows both Joey’s own frustration with herself and her moms’ frustration with wanting to help. They try therapy; they set consequences, and although each mom responds somewhat differently, they both love her deeply. They know she’s not an intentional bully but has to stop acting as she does.

The book also (thank goodness) avoids bringing in the sperm donor as some kind of a savior with all the answers. Melleby even avoids implying that all children with sperm donors are curious about them; Joey’s siblings are much less interested in finding out who he is. The most important relationships Joey has are with her moms and siblings, and that doesn’t change throughout the book. In fact, Joey’s science project offers her some surprising insights into the importance of nurture as well as nature.

This is not an easy book, as it deals with some challenging topics, but it offers a powerful and thoughtful look at a young person grappling with a mental health challenge at a time of life that is challenging to begin with. While it (perhaps authentically) doesn’t tie up all the answers at the end, it also shows how support from family and friends can make a difference.

Joey and her family are White.

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