Why do we need to talk about vaginas? Gynecologist Dr. Allison Rodgers says in the introduction to her book that she wants to share “an inclusive and body-positive view of loving yourself and understanding how your body works.” It’s an admirable goal, although the book falls a little short for queer people in some places.
The book looks at the inside and outside parts of female genitalia and the reproductive system, bodily changes during puberty, reproduction and birth, periods and period care, cleaning your vulva, what a gynecologist appointment is like, and more. There are also sections on masturbation, consent, staying safe online, and contraception. It’s all very upfront, clear, and body positive, reassuring readers that bodies come in great variety.
Another section is titled “Gender Identity,” but somewhat oddly begins by asking, “How do you know who you are, who you want to be, and who you are attracted to?” Attraction, of course, is about sexual orientation, not gender identity, and that’s unfortunately not covered in this book. Rodgers does seem to accurately define gender identity and what it means to be cisgender, nonbinary, and trans, and to have gender dysphoria (at least as far as this cisgender reviewer can tell). The images of trans men and nonbinary people on this page are the only obvious ones in the book, however; the only others that could be read that way are on a page that also shows a two-girl couple (who assert, “you don’t need a penis to have sex”) and in a spread at the very end. It feels like the queer characters are only on the pages “about” being queer (and in the final spread of everyone). Critically, there’s no clear message that trans men and nonbinary people with uteruses may also need to understand the information about vaginas and periods in this book.
There are also a couple of places where the language is gendered, e.g., when Rodgers notes “Most girls notice the first signs of puberty around 8-11.” And the book in fact opens with the line, “In different cultures and throughout time, there have been different attitudes about vaginas, female-gendered bodies, and sexuality,” which brought me to a screeching halt. “Female-gendered bodies”? One’s body determines one’s sex; gender is in the mind. Maybe the author meant “the bodies that someone with a female gender may have,” but if so, that’s not at all clear, and would probably be even less so to the target age group.
Also: We need to talk about dental dams. On one page, a two-girl couple tells the reader, “You don’t need a penis to have sex. Get with the times, people!” Yet although the book mentions condoms as an effective measure against STIs (sexually transmitted infections), it says nothing about dental dams, which are useful for preventing STIs during certain kinds of sex, which feels particularly (though not exclusively) important for the queer community.
Overall, then, while this feels like an empowering book for straight, cisgender girls, it comes up a little short for us queer folks. More inclusive options include: You Know, Sex: Bodies, Gender, Puberty, and Other Things; You-ology: A Puberty Guide for EVERY Body; Own Your Period: A Fact-filled Guide to Period Positivity; and Puberty Is Gross but Also Really Awesome.
