This is not intended to be a comprehensive look at LGBTQ parenting history, just a brief list of some interesting and celebratory firsts and milestones from the U.S. For more on the history of LGBTQ families, see the Remembering LGBTQ Families page.
1956
The lesbian organization Daughters of Bilitis holds the first known discussion groups on lesbian motherhood.
1968
Bill Jones, a gay man, becomes the first single father to adopt a child in California and among the first nationally.
1971
Formation of the first lesbian mothers’ activist group, the Lesbian Mothers Union.
1972
That Certain Summer, the first television movie to depict a gay dad, airs on ABC, starring Hal Holbrook as a dad who comes out to his teenage son, and Martin Sheen as his partner. Scott Jacoby, who played the son, won a Best Supporting Actor Emmy.
1973
Sandy and Madeleine’s Family becomes the first U.S. documentary about a lesbian-headed family.
1973
A Colorado court issues the country’s first known opinion involving a transgender parent, upholding his right to retain child custody.
1974
A New Jersey superior court judge rules that a father’s sexual orientation is not in itself a reason to deny him child visitation, the first time a U.S. court has acknowledged the constitutional rights of gay fathers.
1974
Several lesbian mothers and friends in Seattle form the Lesbian Mothers National Defense Fund to help lesbian mothers in custody disputes.
1976
Washington, D.C. becomes first jurisdiction in the country to prohibit judges from making custody decisions based solely on sexual orientation.
1977
Lawyers Donna Hitchens and Roberta Achtenberg in San Francisco form the Lesbian Rights Project (LRP), which evolves into the National Center for Lesbian Rights (NCLR), still helping LGBTQ parents (and others) today.
1978
The Washington Supreme Court issues the country’s first custody ruling in favor of a lesbian couple (Sandy Schuster and Madeleine Isaacson of the 1973 film above).
1978
New York becomes the first state to say it will not reject adoption applicants solely because of “homosexuality.”
1979
A gay man in New York becomes the first out LGBTQ person in the country publicly known to have adopted a child.
1979
A gay couple in California becomes the first same-sex couple known to have jointly adopted a child.
1979
The Gay Fathers Coalition forms—a precursor to Family Equality, the national organization for LGBTQ parents and their children.
1979
Jane Severance’s When Megan Went Away becomes the first picture book in the U.S. to show a lesbian relationship and the first to show LGBTQ parents.
1982
The Sperm Bank of California begins operations, the first in the country to serve lesbian couples and single women.
1985
A court for the first time allows a non-gestational mother to adopt the biological child of her female partner. The ruling, in Alaska, also allows the biological father to maintain a relationship with the child.
1988
A group of youth with LGBTQ parents meets at a conference organized by a precursor to Family Equality, and begins the organizing that in 1999 leads to Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere (COLAGE) as an independent national organization.
1989
Author Lesléa Newman self-publishes Heather Has Two Mommies, the first children’s book in the U.S. to show a two-mom couple planning and raising a child together.
1990
The Newsweek article, “The Future of Gay America,” includes the first documented use of the term “gayby boom” to describe the rise in lesbians and gay men having children.
1990
Donna Hitchens of the Lesbian Rights Project becomes the first out lesbian (and lesbian mom) to hold a judicial position, with her election to the San Francisco Superior Court.
1990
LGBTQ publisher Alyson Publications launches the Alyson Wonderland imprint for childrens’ titles. It publishes Daddy’s Roommate, by Michael Willhoite, the first children’s book published in the U.S. to depict gay male parents, and mass produces Heather Has Two Mommies.
1993
Vermont and Massachusetts began allowing same-sex couples to adopt jointly statewide.
1994
The San Francisco Gay and Lesbian Parents Association produces Both of My Moms Names Are Judy: Children of Lesbians and Gays Speak Out, the first educational film for elementary school teachers about LGBTQ families.
1994
Deborah Batts becomes the first out LGBTQ (and LGBTQ parent) federal judge.
1995
A state’s highest court (Wisconsin) rules for the first time that a nonbiological mother may try and show that it would be in the best interests of her child for her to remain in the child’s life after parental separation.
1997
New Jersey makes it explicit in its adoption policy that same-sex couples may adopt jointly.
2005
The PBS show Postcards from Buster airs the first depiction of a two-mom family in a television show for young children.
2007
Dottie’s Magic Pockets is the first television show (available only on DVD) aimed at children with LGBTQ parents.
2008
Marcus Ewert publishes 10,000 Dresses, the first children’s book to show a clearly transgender child.
2009
First explicit mention of same-sex parents in a presidential proclamation. In announcing September 28 as Family Day, President Obama says, “Whether children are raised by two parents, a single parent, grandparents, a same-sex couple, or a guardian, families encourage us to do our best and enable us to accomplish great things.”
2009
Jenny Durkan becomes the first out LGBTQ (and LGBTQ parent) U.S. Attorney.
2010
The Kids Are All Right, starring Annette Bening and Julianne Moore, becomes the first major feature film to focus on an LGBTQ couple and their children. It wins Golden Globe Awards for Best Motion Picture and Best Actress (Bening), and four Academy Award nominations, including Best Picture.
2010
President Obama revises hospital visitation rules so patients may designate their own visitors, including same-sex partners. He was motivated in part by the story of Janice Langbehn and her three children, who in 2007 were denied access to her dying partner and the children’s other mother, Lisa Pond. Langbehn in 2011 receives the Presidential Citizens Medal, the nation’s second-highest civilian honor.
2010
Florida is the last state to end a law explicitly banning gay men and lesbians from adopting. Several other states continue to forbid unmarried couples in those states, by definition (at the time) including every same-sex couple, from adopting.
2011
The U.S. State Department updates passport applications to say “Mother or Parent 1” and “Father or Parent 2” instead of just “Mother” and “Father.”
2011
U.S. Rep. Jared Polis of Colorado becomes the first out LGBTQ parent in Congress with the birth of a son to him and partner Marlon Reis.
2012
When President Obama announces his support for marriage equality, he explains that his daughters have friends with same-sex parents, and “I know it wouldn’t dawn on them that their friends’ parents should be treated differently.”
2012
Universal Pictures’ ParaNorman gives us the first clear instance of an LGBTQ character in a mainstream film for children.
2013
The U.S. Supreme Court rules in Windsor v. United States that a key part of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) is unconstitutional, citing children’s well-being as a main argument.
2015
The U.S. Supreme Court in Obergefell v. Hodges again uses children’s well-being as a key argument in overturning bans on marriage for same-sex couples across the country. Among other things, this opens up joint and co-parent (second-parent) adoption for same-sex couples in several additional states.
2015
Kate Brown becomes governor of Oregon, the first out bisexual (and bisexual parent) governor, and first LGBTQ governor overall.
2017
The U.S. Supreme Court rules in Pavan v. Smith that married same-sex couples have the right to both be on their children’s birth certificates.
2017
Andrea Jenkins becomes the first out transgender Black woman (and Black trans parent) elected to public office in the U.S. with her election to the Minneapolis City Council, Ward 8.
2017
Danica Roem becomes the first out transgender person (and trans parent) elected to a state legislature.
2018
Jared Polis is elected governor of Colorado, making him the first out gay (and gay parent) governor.
2018
Angie Craig is elected to the U.S. House of Representatives from Minnesota, making her the first out lesbian parent in Congress.
2019
The Bravest Knight is the first television series on a mainstream network (Hulu) to center a family with LGBTQ parents.
2021
Secretary of Transportation Pete Buttigieg and husband Chasten Buttigieg become parents of twins, making Buttigieg the first out LGBTQ parent to be a cabinet secretary.
2021
Dr. Rachel Levine becomes the first out transgender person (and transgender parent) to be confirmed by the Senate. Her position as assistant secretary for health in the Department of Health and Human Service also makes her the country’s highest-ranking transgender official.
2022
U.S. District Court Judge Alison Nathan was confirmed to the 2nd U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals, making her the second LGBTQ woman and the first queer mom to become a federal appellate judge.
2022
Karine Jean-Pierre, a lesbian mom, is the first out LGBTQ person and first person of color to become White House Press Secretary.
2022
Stuart Delery becomes the first LGBTQ person (and LGBTQ parent) to be White House Counsel.
2022
Svante Pääbo and Carolyn Bertozzi win Nobel Prizes in Medicine/Physiology and Chemistry, respectively, the first out LGBTQ parents to do so.
2023
Maura Healey becomes the first lesbian governor in the U.S. (sworn in four days before Oregon’s Tina Kotek) and announces that she has a partner who has two kids.
2023
Laphonza Butler becomes the first out Black lesbian member of Congress and the first out LGBTQ parent senator.
(I have compiled these items from a number of sources, including my own reporting; special recognition goes to Carlos Ball’s The Right to Be Parents, Jaime Campbell Naidoo’s Rainbow Family Collections, and Daniel Winunwe Rivers’ Radical Relations: Lesbian Mothers, Gay Fathers, and Their Children in the United States Since World War II. Any errors remain my own.) I welcome additions to this list, though I prefer they be national “firsts,” rather than state-level ones, only to keep things manageable. Please contact me and provide links or citations.
