There are now happily a number of books for and about parents of transgender children. But resources specifically aimed at helping grandparents support their transgender grandchildren have been few. Janna Barkin, whose He’s Always Been My Son told the story of raising her transgender son, seeks to fill that gap with A Grand Love.
Grandparents, Barkin asserts, are “an essential component” of support for transgender youth. But generational differences, as well as (in many cases) physical distance, can mean grandparents “can feel left out of or confused about their grandchildren’s lives.” They “are often presented with information about their grandchild’s gender identity and then left to themselves to just ‘go along’ and adjust on their own.” They “can feel really shocked as they don’t get to see them moving through all the steps” of the transition process.
Yet “Grandparents can play a crucial role in family dynamics,” Barkin says, and this book is intended to be a “safe space” for grandparents seeing knowledge and tools to help them understand and accept their trans and gender-diverse grandchildren.
Some of the information here covers “Trans 101” topics like the difference between sex and gender and how to use inclusive pronouns—information very similar to that of books aimed at parents. But Barkin also brings together a compilation of grandparent-specific information, advice, and insights, including stories and reflections from grandparents of trans grandchildren and from the (grown) grandchildren themselves, to help grandparents better support their trans grandchildren—and to support their own children, the child’s parents, as the whole family navigates the changes inherent in a child’s transition.
The book also recognizes that some grandparents are primary caregivers to their grandchildren, and for them suggests numerous resources aimed at parents of trans children. Other extended family members, such as aunts and uncles, may also find it valuable.
Accessible and conversational, this helpful volume should find a welcome place in many homes.
