A girl gathers with her chosen family for a “Friendsgiving” Thanksgiving in this joyous book of family, history, community, and queer elders. As the girl asks about the celebration’s origins, each adult offers a different answer, casting a light on both personal and broader history.
Great-Uncle Billy says he started the Friendsgiving, back when he had to ask the coded, “Are you a friend of Dorothy?” to find other queer people, who would gather in safe spaces named after birds. Miss Mona (who is Bruce when not in her drag persona) says it began when her car broke down and she had to stay overnight. Grandma Jane (the child’s mom’s “chosen mom”) and Nana Rose credit themselves, as they peel apples for the pie; Grandma Jane fixed Miss Mona’s car, and Nana Rose invited folks to stay.
The girl reflects, too, on Nana Rose’s history as part of the Lavender Menace, where she protested to include lesbians in the women’s movement. The girl remembers that story, but not the origins of the Friendsgiving.
Elliot and Ash, who have four kids, “and other kids that might be staying with them this time of year,” claim it as their idea. They reminisce about vogue balls as they prepare more food.
The girl’s mom can’t remember, either, but observes, “What’s important anyway is our family found each other.” The family sits to eat, but only after a shared recitation of a poem about family—which no one can remember the origins of, either!
I absolutely adore this book, which both celebrates queer history and reminds us that sometimes, it’s simply the outcome of people coming together in love that matters most. I particularly like how the queer elders convey their stories of resilience; the history they share is not from a textbook, but from their own lived experiences. Author Joanna McClintick keeps the pedagogy light, however; what matters here is the sense of family, community, and joy, passed down as a loving heritage to the next generation. Illustrator Keisha Morris’s collage images reinforce the warmth of McClintick’s words, while an author’s note explains more about the history referenced in the story.
Every queer picture book collection should include this title. Very highly recommended.
The family is mostly Black, with several characters who read as Asian.
