Eighth-grader Avery loves riding her dirt bike and playing drums. She’s headstrong (some would say bossy), has short hair, a nose ring, and multiple ear piercings, and identifies as pansexual. She’s also been diagnosed with hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, which causes frequent joint dislocation and pain and could progressively worsen. She has support from her two moms (one of whom is a trans woman), but worries her health issues could mean she will always be dependent on them.
To her classmate Sarah, though (who doesn’t initially realize the extent of Avery’s health issues), the outgoing Avery “is everything I wish I could be.” Sarah is prone to panic attacks and her Catholic parents’ advice to pray for help doesn’t seem to be working. She finds solace in drawing, however, and spends time sketching in her diary.
When their school has a realistic active-shooter drill, however, Avery uncharacteristically freezes, while Sarah finds the courage to help another student. As the entire school community responds to what most feel was a unnecessarily traumatizing drill, Avery and Sarah ponder what their reactions mean—and also what their future actions should be. After the incident itself, Avery wants to lash out in revenge at the principal, and finds common cause with Sarah’s older brother James, who is gay. Sarah, however, wants to create change in a more measured way, via a petition, and worries that Avery’s course of action is too risky. Overlaid on all of this are Avery and Sarah’s growing crushes on each other.
The story is told in alternating chapters of Avery and Sarah’s voices, with Sarah’s chapters also highlighted by sketches, adding to the sense that we are reading her diary. Author Jules Machias weaves in a lot of challenging topics—ableism, gun violence, racism, classism (Sarah’s family is less financially secure than Avery’s)—but manages not to preach, and shows how these stresses can interact, impacting young people in various ways.
The book also notably gives us the backstory of Avery’s mom Tuney’s parental name. When Avery’s trans parent transitioned, her parents tried to get her to call her “Mommy Two,” but two-year-old Avery turned this into “Tuney,” which stuck. It’s a delightful explanation, and reflects some of the real-world stories of LGBTQ parental names that I’ve collected here. I love seeing this aspect of LGBTQ families in fiction. I also appreciate that Tuney’s transness is not ignored, but neither is it a cause of “problems” in the plot.
The plot is driven by the question of whether Avery’s risky plan will go astray, but also by whether she and Sarah will reveal their feelings for each other—and, perhaps more importantly, whether and how each character will grow and change as individuals and how they can learn from each other. Machias spins this out effectively over the course of the book, and the main characters all feel well-rounded and authentically complex. A recommended read.
Avery and Sarah and their families are White; Avery’s best friend Mason is biracial (Black/White) and has ADHD.
