Chad Anderson’s graphic memoir (based upon his 2017 self-published fully prose memoir of the same name) chronicles his journey from a childhood of physical and emotional abuse and strict religious practice, to coming out at 32 years old and living as a proud gay dad. The narrative moves back and forth between his childhood, when he learned what is expected of a “good” Mormon, to his later life after coming out, when he is making his way as the divorced father of two young children.
This is not an emotionally easy story to read, and it is not for children, despite the graphic/comic format. Anderson suffered physical abuse from his stepfather (as did his mother) and sexual abuse from his older brother; yet he was told that his thoughts of liking other boys were sinful, and he feared for his family’s eternal happiness if he didn’t suppress those feelings. He grew up thinking he was broken.
At the same time, this is a story of hope, with the alternating chronology letting us know from the start that Anderson has found self-worth and happiness. The narrative tension is not in what the outcome will be, but in how Anderson got there. He shares his journey with a good balance of dialog and description, adding interstitial poems and prose throughout that enhance readers’ understanding without burdening the main narrative. These additions also give readers time to pause and absorb each often-intense section.
Anderson looks, too, at how coming out after a heterosexual marriage and two children impacted both him and his sons. “I’d once been afraid of hurting my children by coming out,” he says at one point. “Over time, I realized I was instead creating a world in which they’d get two happy parents.”
Remy Burke’s bold illustrations with heavy black lines complement and enhance the text, and offer visual cues to guide the reader back and forth across the chronology, with cold blues representing the earlier years and warm reds the later ones. Text and images combine into a powerful and highly recommended memoir of transformation and healing.
Content warning: Physical (including sexual) and emotional abuse; thoughts of suicide.
