This 1985 book is one of the earliest published queer parenting guides and the first to target both gay men and lesbians. It differs from Considering Parenthood: A Workbook for Lesbians, published in the same year, by covering not only family creation and looking ahead to what parenthood would bring, but also covering topics of interest to gay men and lesbians who are already parents, including those who had children in heterosexual relationships. Gay Parenting looks at topics like coming out to children, being (heterosexually) married and gay, fighting for custody after a (heterosexual) divorce, the impact of AIDS, “Coparenting: Creating Alternative Families,” and more, in addition to looking at assisted insemination, adoption, and foster parenting (though not as in-depth as Considering Parenthood).
Author Joy Schulenburg draws not only upon her own experience as an intentional lesbian mother coparenting with two gay male friends, but also information gathered from hundreds of other gay and lesbian parents across the U.S., collected the old-fashioned way, with paper and phone. While much of the book feels rather dated now, some of the general wisdom still applies, and the insights Schulenburg presents from her interviewees offers an important historical look at the generation of queer parents that created the “gayby boom.”
