This is the first picture book I am aware of that focuses on what it means to be aroace, and it’s both informative and delightful.
The story is told through the eyes of a girl (never named in the story, but called Claire in the backmatter) who is staying with her favorite aunt, Lola, while the girl’s parents are on a special weekend anniversary trip. Claire and Lola have lots of fun together. Still, Claire wishes she could be celebrating with her mom and dad. Lola suggests putting on fancy clothes and watching the video of the parents’ wedding. Claire recognizes various familial couples in the video, but notes that Lola (who wears a dress) is sitting alone.
People in the video also talk about love: that it “makes us complete” and “saves us from being alone.” Claire wonders: Does Aunt Lola, who is alone, need love to save her so she can be happy? Claire says she wants her to get married and “Find someone to love and kiss forever!”
Lola explains that she doesn’t want to marry and that she’s “aroace.” She says, “I love people without romance or kisses,” and says she’s perfectly happy that way. Being married is for people who want those things with one special person, she adds, but that’s just not for her.
The next day, the pair decide to plan a surprise for Claire’s parents when they return, and they get some help from all of the people Aunt Lola loves: a neighbor, several coworkers, people she volunteers with, and Zoe, who sits on Lola’s lap while they watch a movie. “I take care of Zoe, and they take care of me,” Lola tells Claire, although there are “No kisses or romance.”
Claire still wonders if everyone’s love of Lola is real. Lola tells her that love is about mutual care and respect, not just kisses and weddings. Claire realizes that the love she shares with Lola is real, too. Cue the anniversary party for Claire’s returning parents, attended by the people who love the family; it’s a celebration of love in all its many forms.
The book clearly conveys what it means to be aroace, emphasizing that aroace people’s lives are full of love and happiness. There’s a pedagogical point here, but the lively dialog and cheery characters keep it from being pedantic. Author Cody Daigle-Orians decision to weave Claire’s parents’ wedding/anniversary into the plot is a stroke of brilliance; it allows them to show aroace identities as part of a nonjudgmental spectrum of ways to love.
Siân Coules-Milne’s jewel-toned illustrations are joyful and sweet, and include additional queer representation: One of Lola’s coworkers wears an accessory in the colors of the aroace flag; another friend wears a t-shirt with a trans flag on it. Lola also seems to have an expansive gender expression; she has a blue, asymmetric haircut and dons a suit and bow tie to watch the wedding video, but in the video, she is wearing a dress.
Backmatter includes a “Guide for Adults” about aroace identities; this is the only place in the book where we see the full word “asexual,” defined as “a person who does not experience or rarely experiences sexual attraction.” In the main story, however, only the term “aroace” is used, allowing adult readers to use their own discretion about using the full term or not with their young readers.
Love Looks Like Lola fills a gap in the world of queer-inclusive picture books with skill and warmth, making it a highly recommended title.
Claire and her mother are Black; Lola and the girl’s father are White.
