Max has always known that his moms, Mom and Momsha, asked Momsha’s friend Hari to be their sperm donor. Max has never met him, though, nor felt any particular desire to. When some kids in sixth grade started bullying him about having two moms, however, it changed something in him. He started stumbling over his performances as drummer in a friend’s band and began to avoid the spotlight. His moms think that meeting Hari might help Max better understand himself, boosting his self-confidence, so they arrange a meeting. Max and his moms will join Hari and his family for a hike.
Max has mixed feelings about this, but a photo of Hari playing guitar on stage makes him wonder if Hari could in fact help him regain his musical skills. “It’s not like I’m looking for a dad or anything,” Max insists. “Mom and Momsha are awesome. But I haven’t felt great about myself over the past year, and maybe that’s because I don’t really know everything about myself yet. Meeting the donor can only help with that, can’t it?”
Hari also has a daughter of his own, Ella, who is a year younger than Max. Ella has just found out about Max’s existence, however—and the planned hike means she must change the plans she had to go camping with a friend who will be attending a different middle school next year. Ella is adverse to change at the best of times, and not happy about having Max and his family foisted upon her. In addition, Ella’s mom has a high-pressure job that keeps her away from her family a lot. Ella resents her frequent absences, and worries that Max will take her dad’s attention away, too.
An accident on the hike means Max and Ella must work together to avoid disaster, however, in the process learning more about each other and themselves.
The story is told from Max and Ella’s alternating perspectives, and author Kristina Rahim shows us their fluctuating feelings about donor conception (and the connections it can bring) with clarity and directness. Importantly, though, she positions the topic as part of the larger enterprise of young tweens figuring out who they are. The story weaves in affirming points about both same-sex-headed families and donor conception, most notably, how knowing one’s donor doesn’t have to be a threat to the family where one was raised. Instead, the book acknowledges the complicated feelings that being donor conceived might evoke, while it also conveys that donor connections can be a source of self-understanding and even joy.
Small moments in the book also acknowledge other types of donor conception (such as using a sperm bank rather than a known donor), and other types of families. (Max’s aunt is a solo parent; Ella’s parents have chosen not to marry.)
Younger middle grade readers should find useful information and affirmation here, whether they are donor conceived like Max, part of a donor’s family like Ella, or simply have friends who are, making it a recommended tale.
Max is biracial; Mom is White and Momsha is South Asian, as is Hari. Ella and her dad are White.
