Rami Aizic grew up in Israel and Canada and always dreamed of being a dad. But as a gay, Jewish man in the 1980s and 90s, fatherhood felt at times unobtainable. In this heartfelt memoir, Aizic shares how fatherhood nevertheless remained a beacon for him as he went to university in Canada, attended law school in the U.K., and switched careers in Los Angeles to become a psychologist.
Aizic started dating a man who was co-parenting with a lesbian couple, but the child stayed mainly with the women. Aizic still wanted to be a full-time dad. He looked into adoption, but the obstacles for a gay man were steep at the time. Finding someone to be a surrogate was difficult, too, but eventually Aizic connected with someone who was willing to do so, and became the father he felt he was meant to be.
Readers should appreciate this personal look at an early intentional gay dad family. The narrative might have benefited from some tighter editing, but if it feels a little overstuffed with detail at times, it also feels lovingly full of Aizic’s passion become a dad and to share his story with others. As a gay man trying to become a father and raise a child during the height of the AIDS epidemic, he had few role models to look to, but his experiences may offer readers what he himself lacked: the book gives us not only a sense of queer family history but also a model that prospective queer dads may still learn from as we face new challenges today. Aizic’s vision and perseverance may inspire others to keep pursuing their dreams of fatherhood as well.
