With “pretty cool penguin” Lex as a guide, this workbook by licensed clinical social worker Tom Tracy offers a variety of activities and information to help children with LGBTQ parents feel “safe, confident, and proud.” The book comes in two versions, showing Lex with either two moms or two dads.
Lex (who is never gendered) starts by explaining that sometimes people can make comments or ask questions about our families that don’t feel okay. And Lex, who was adopted by two flamingos, often has questions like, “Is it ok to feel what I’m feeling?” Or “Are there other families with similar situations like mine?”
Lex tells readers that there are millions of children with LGBTQ parents, in all regions of the U.S., and even celebrities who are or who have LGBTQ parents. A page with several photographs of racially diverse human LGBTQ parents and their children emphasizes the point that real LGBTQ families exist (not just cartoon penguins and their flamingo folks). Word searches and other activities help readers engage with this material. The book also includes space for readers to draw and write about themselves and their own families, and to create a family tree with a freeform, flexible format.
In addition to these exercises that reinforce individual and family pride, the workbook gives readers useful information, tools, and strategies for dealing with things that could damage that pride. It delves into topics like positive and negative emotions, boundaries and how to set them, responding to bullying, and other strategies for self-care, particularly when confronted with questions and comments about one’s family. “You are always in charge of choosing when to respond and how much to share!” Lex reminds readers. The book shows some examples from Lex’s life, but also gives readers a chance to think about their own feelings and potential responses to various situations, such as a peer saying “That’s so gay” or asking if a parent is a man or a woman.
The book’s publishing blurb says it is aimed at children ages 6 to 12. That’s a pretty big range to straddle. Some of the text complexity and vocabulary level feel best suited to the older end of that range, although the cute Lex has an appeal that skews younger. Chances are, though, that children may come back to the book at various points in their development, as different parts of it resonate with them at different times.
Parents may want to read the book in tandem with their children in any case, to further discuss the ideas raised and explain vocabulary as necessary (especially for younger children), or to direct them towards the pages that seem most useful for their current situation and emotions, since there’s a lot here. Both the content of the workbook itself and the conversations it may engender are equally important.
Children may want to complete some of the pages on their own, too, and parents should support that, but the workbook is intended as a springboard for family discussion, and that’s its real strength. In fact, a section at the end has additional guidance for parents on having conversations with their children about the topics raised, and for helping children practice some of the suggested strategies.
Tracy writes that he hopes the workbook “helps our families talk openly—and helps our kids feel seen, supported, and not othered.” For children of LGBTQ parents seeking affirmation of their families in a world that isn’t always kind, and for the parents and other adults hoping to support them, this interactive workbook offers important tools for resilience. It takes its place in the small but growing line of workbooks/activity books for LGBTQ families and youth (see “You may also like…” suggestions below, and a fuller list here), and should become a useful resource.
