The delightful volume, published by Little Bee Books in partnership with GLAAD, will help adults and kids start to have important conversations about gender, feelings, and understanding themselves.
It starts by explaining, “There are eight BILLION people living on Earth. That’s eight billion unique laughs, smiles, ways to dress, think, act, and play.” Gender is one way to group people and to express ourselves, the book says, but it’s different for everyone, “And there’s no wrong way to express it.”
From that affirming beginning, the book explores various words that can be used to express gender, both nouns (“boy,” “girl,” “nonbinary,” “genderqueer,” etc.) and pronouns, and how gender is expressed through clothing, hair, and more. It shows children engaging in a variety of activities—cooking, sports, dancing, and more—regardless of gender, and assures readers that different ways of expressing feelings are natural and healthy. And while some people have always known who they are, it’s also okay to still be figuring it out, to change one’s mind, and to tell other people about one’s gender only when one is ready, we learn. Vignettes on each page show individuals and groups expressing the differing ways they embody each concept. “My Gender! My Rules!” each spread asserts.
There’s a clear pedagogical purpose here, but the messages are kept simple for young readers and enhanced by the cheery images, as diverse people of all ages work and play in community. It’s a book of celebration as well as education.
A glossary at the end defines some gender-related terms in more depth for the adults reading the book.
The prolific Passchier has written and illustrated several previous books about gender and identity (in addition to many more titles they have illustrated), including the board book Being You: A First Conversation About Gender, and the chapter book Gender Identity for Kids, a Lambda Literary Award finalist. My Gender, My Rules fits nicely between those two in its target age range. If you know their previous work, you know how exuberant and joyful it is, and My Gender, My Rules is no exception. It’s a must-have for anyone seeking to discuss gender with kids of any identity.
(While it doesn’t come out until November 2025, it is available for preorder. I am listing it here early because I had the honor of doing its cover reveal in March.)
