Everything is different for Olivia Gray now that she’s in seventh grade. Her friends are all obsessing about crushes, her gay brother has a boyfriend, and Olivia feels increasingly left out, since dating holds no interest for her. “It’s like everyone started speaking a different language I’ve never even heard of one day,” she says. When she turns down an invitation to the fall formal by an unknown admirer, and accidentally posts the response publicly on the social app KruShh, that only accelerates the dating buzz in her social circle. Even her brother, trying to be helpful, insists that she’ll eventually get what all the fuss is about, but he’s trying to reassure her based on a misunderstanding of her feelings. Olivia feels more and more invisible—to the point of literally disappearing at times.
The only two people who can see her then are Ms. Amelia, the new school librarian, and Jules, a nonbinary student in her class. Jules, too, has times of invisibility. After reading a book on asexual and aromantic identities, perceptively given to her by Ms. Amelia, and after conversations with Jules, Olivia starts to wonder if she might be asexual.
Author Ciera Burch avoids simplistic storylines, however, and doesn’t make Olivia’s journey of self-discovery the easy one of just reading a book and suddenly knowing who she is. Unlike Jules, who loves exploring the labels that fit them, Olivia finds it hard to figure out her identity, even with the aid of a helpful book. “The book had spent most of the time telling her that her feelings were normal and the rest explaining why other people thought they weren’t,” Burch writes. That’s not what Olivia wants, though. “She already knew how she felt. She’d wanted the book to tell her why she felt that way and who, exactly, she was…. the book had given her too many words, too many possibilities to pick from.”
As the pressure to fit in mounts and she risks alienating even Jules, Olivia must figure out who she is before she disappears entirely. Burch wisely emphasizes the inner work that Olivia must do in order to realize her aro-ace identity, while also showing how important it still is for queer youth to have queer books, mentors, role models, and peers. She gives us common beats of middle school social dynamics, but seen through a less-common aro-ace lens. The twist of invisibility offers allegory and an engaging touch of the supernatural, making the book a highly recommended read.
Olivia and her family are Black; Jules has pale brown skin.
