Anndee Hochman, author of the Philadelphia Inquirer’s “Parent Trip” column for nearly a decade, here gathers more than 40 of her columns profiling a wide variety of families, both queer and not, and how they formed. The stories cover various paths to parenthood, but are not organized by those paths; instead, they are arranged by topics that include making the decision to start a family; infertility and other obstacles; parenting across differences of identity (including racial/ethnic identity, age, and more); navigating health or mental health issues; the ways in which politics can intrude on parenthood and families; starting families during the COVID-19 pandemic; and the importance of community. The effect is to underscore commonalities across the many types of families and ways of family formation, even as the individual stories showcase the families’ unique experiences.
The sections are interspersed with Hochman’s own thoughtful reflections on starting a family with her spouse Elissa, “two white, short, Jewish lesbians” whose life experiences nevertheless differ. Numerous other queer families are here, too, across the sections, and include ones with queer moms, queer dads (including one trans dad), and a nonbinary parent. While I love books that focus on LGBTQ families, I also love ones like this, which show us as part of the larger picture of family diversity and explore how our many aspects of identity intertwine.
Throughout the book, we see the uncertainties and surprises that the parenthood journey may bring, but also the support, hope, and love that people have found. “Parenthood reminds us that we are awash in luck and grief to be alive—here, briefly, now, together—and to make family, in all its dazzling variations, for however long it lasts,” Hochman writes. This highly recommended volume is a must-read for anyone who wants to catch a little of that sparkling light.
