This insightful, powerful, and necessary anthology brings together essays, interviews, and roundtable discussions by and with 18 trans, nonbinary, and gender-expansive birthing people, who share their experiences with conception, pregnancy, fertility treatment, birth, and early parenthood. We see struggles here, as might be expected in the current era of rampant anti-trans rhetoric and policy, and we see losses, as birthing people have always had—but the overwhelming sense is of joy, resilience, strength, and love.
The contributors represent a variety of racial/ethnic, gender, and neurological identities. They have varying family structures and came to pregnancy in different ways and at different times with respect to their transitions. Some had been taking hormones or had gender-affirming surgeries; others had not. Some found community and support; others did not, or had to create it.
The volume offers an important reminder that each person’s experience is different—with their gender, with pregnancy, and with the intersection of the two. Contributor Zillah Rose writes, for example, “I feel like I will not be as much of an attractive genderqueer trans person in this body that feels so specifically and socially female-gendered,” while g k somers says, “I actually felt probably the most at home I ever have in my gender when I was pregnant…. I felt so incredibly gender expansive while pregnant.” Editor Simon Knaphus shares, “Pregnancy is the most stereotypically masculine experience I’ve had,” and J. Workman says, “Birth brings out the jock in me…. In many ways, it feels like the pinnacle of my own masculinity.” But Kathy Slaughter, who identifies as non-binary and bigender, says, “Part of me does truly feel grounded in the experience of womanhood. And that part of me felt thrilled to be enfolded into the lineage of mothers. Yet this masculinity that I had just begun to openly and fully express felt so threatened by it.” And J.F. Gutfreund opines, “Pregnancy is not dysphoric, but public life is.”
The stories here are moving, unflinching, and often lyrical, full of wisdom and insights about pregnancy, body autonomy, and much more, The contributors reflect on the personal, social, political, and legal contexts of their journeys and also share practical advice about topics such as accessing care, drawing on community, the decision to delay or pause hormones in order to become pregnant, dealing with bias and misgendering, talking about trans-led families with kids, and even what to wear during pregnancy.
As a cisgender reviewer, I cannot presume to know how trans and nonbinary birthing people will view the book, but the endorsements from well-known trans parents including Trystan Reese and Freddy McConnell indicate that it will be a welcome offering of affirmation, inspiration, and information. As contributor Amari Ayomide says, “Somebody is gonna find their story in here…. But also, maybe sees this as their ability to live their story, no matter what it is, no matter what your story is.”
For cisgender people, the volume should help us better understand some of the many experiences of trans and nonbinary birthing people and not to assume that they share a single story. Health care providers, social workers, reproductive and LGBTQ rights advocates, and anyone working with families today will likely also find it a valuable resource.
This is a highly recommended volume that fills a gap even as its exceptional storytelling whets an appetite for more. As Knaphus writes in the introduction, “We are gems. Our babies are miracles. Our families are revolutionary. Our troubles are both mundane and exceptional. Our bodies, which hold the capacity to create life, are beautiful.”
Content warning: Mentions of an attempt to die by suicide; pregnancy loss; abortion; and domestic violence.
