The three hosts of the Fertility Docs Uncensored podcast, Drs. Abby Eblen, Carrie Bedient, and Susan Hudson, all board-certified in obstetrics and gynecology and reproductive endocrinology and infertility, here collect much of their wisdom about in vitro fertilization (IVF) and present it for a general audience. They’re not just experts dispensing information, however; Eblen and Hudson have also been IVF patients and know first-hand what it is like to go through the process and wait for results. “Our goal is to lift the veil from the IVF journey and make this process more user-friendly,” the authors write in the introduction, and in this they succeed.
The book offers a clear but detailed look at what IVF is and what to expect at every stage; preparing for treatment and how to maximize chances for success; types of embryo transfers and deciding how many to transfer; genetic testing; dealing with the results, positive or negative, and more. There are also dedicated chapters about egg and embryo freezing; using egg, sperm, and embryo donors and/or gestational carriers; and LGBTQIA+ family building. Throughout, the book explores both the physiological and emotional aspects of IVF that readers (or the loved ones whom they wish to support) may be experiencing.
The LGBTQIA+ chapter looks at single parents, couples assigned female at birth (AFAB), and those assigned male at birth (AMAB), and acknowledges the need for finding an LGBTQ-inclusive and -competent clinic. The book also thoughtfully notes that “Most patients in this situation are not infertile; however, some are.”
For couples where both people are AFAB, “Choices abound in this scenario!” the book affirmingly says. One partner could provide the uterus and the other the eggs (switching for a second pregnancy, if desired) or one person could do it all. Nevertheless, the book astutely notes, challenges can arise when one person has a stronger desire to be pregnant, but medical indications would prioritize having the other partner carry.
The book looks, too, at the logistical, financial, and emotional aspects of gestational surrogacy for AMAB people and couples. It also covers issues specific to trans patients, including not only the impact of hormone treatments (if applicable), but also emotional aspects of the process, such as when treatment requires a trans man to get vaginal ultrasounds that may be an unwanted reminder of their female reproductive organs.
I do have one suggested correction, however, based on what I have learned from many conversations with LGBTQ legal experts (although I am not a lawyer myself). The book says:
On a related topic, the need for legal contracts between parents doing reciprocal IVF varies widely. The laws that protect same-sex marriage do not extend to grant equal protection to same-sex parentage. Certain locations may make it difficult for same-sex parents to both be listed on a child’s birth certificate. Additionally, even with a birth certificate, certain locations may not recognize the nonbiological parent as a parent. A consultation with a lawyer experienced in LGBTQIA+ parentage issues is always recommended.
The second sentence would be more accurate as: “The laws that protect same-sex marriage should extend to grant equal protection to same-sex parentage for married same-sex couples [after the U.S. Supreme Court decisions in Obergefell and Pavan], but have not always been interpreted this way in all courts. Unmarried same-sex couples may face additional obstacles.”
LGBTQ prospective readers should also note that in the introduction, the authors acknowledge that people “choose pronouns and self-identify in the way that feels most comfortable for them,” but say that in the book, they are going to “refer to people with uterus/tubes/ovaries/eggs as ‘she/her,’ ‘female,’ and woman, and people born with a penis/testicles/sperm as ‘he/him,’ ‘male,’ and ‘man.’ The goal is purely to simplify explanations of an overwhelming topic. We know there are many ways to make a family, and we love you for who you are.” For some LGBTQ folks, that approach may be a showstopper; for others, it may be understandable in a book aimed at a general audience. I’m not here to make that call for you. In any case, I would still advise also checking out one of the growing number of LGBTQ-specific parenting guides that cover assisted reproduction and that delve deeper into LGBTQ-specific topics, many in all-gender-inclusive ways throughout.
Most of the LGBTQ-specific information in The IVF Blueprint feels affirming and accurate, though, and LGBTQ readers should also gain much from the general insights into IVF that this volume provides.
