Poignant and pointed, this 1999 memoir is one of the first about a gay man becoming a parent. Author Jesse Green shares the story of falling in love with a man at age 37—a man who had recently adopted a baby boy. The book goes beyond that simple summary, however, to look in depth at each man’s childhood, coming out, their lives and losses during the AIDS crisis; and their changing desires and expectations about parenting. Green also incorporates information and musings about the larger currents within the queer community and broader society in the 1990s; this is history made personal. And he tells of falling for Andy and navigating life not only with a new partner, but with his child as well. Later, the men would adopt another child (at first legally tied only to Andy) and create a loving home, informed by the Jewish traditions and heritage that both men received from their families of origin.
The title of the story comes from the classic children’s tale The Velveteen Rabbit, about a stuffed animal made real by a child’s love. The Velveteen Father shows how parenthood—and even the mere possibility of it—can be similarly transformational. Despite the age of the book, it remains a vibrant, readable memoir with much to offer readers today.
