This sweet story shows that gender fluidity exists in nature, emphasizes the importance of seeing such examples, and shows how easy it is for children to welcome genderfluid peers.
Alex is excited about their class field trip to the aquarium “because the fish are all very different from each other”—and sometimes Alex feels different from other people. When the teacher asks the class to think about which sea creature they would like to be, some students know right away. One boy wants to be a jellyfish, which is like a “ninja ballerina”; one girl, who has a broken arm, wants to be an octopus with eight arms. Alex knows those are “not my fish,” however. (The book ignores the fact that neither jellyfish nor octopuses are actually fish, but that doesn’t impact its main points.)
Finally, they see the yellow coral goby, where a sign outside the tank informs them that “This fish can switch from female to male and back again.” Alex asks the teacher to explain. “Sometimes they are a boy, other times they are a girl, and sometimes they are both,” the teacher says. Alex has a look of wonderment on their face. The next day, when the class does their presentations, Alex explains that the fish sometimes feels like a boy, sometimes a girl, and sometimes isn’t sure, just like Alex.
A classmate asks “So are you a ‘he’ or a ‘she’?” The question doesn’t feel hostile; just curious. Alex explains that sometimes they like one or the other, and sometimes neither; the teacher suggests the class could use “they” for Alex during the latter times. She asks what Alex prefers today, and they answer “they.” Everyone applauds Alex’s presentation.
After school, Alex says goodbye to one of the boys who is leaving with his mother. His mother asks who Alex is, and the boy responds simply, “That’s my friend, Mom. Their name is Alex.”
The book has a clear message, but it’s happily conveyed without anyone questioning or challenging Alex’s identity, including Alex themself. There’s a lovely modeling of easy inclusion here. Author/illustrator Paloma O’Toole goes further, too, by showing the other children in the class also connecting with traditionally gender atypical things. The girl who likes octopuses also thinks they are clever and “probably ask lots of questions.” The boy who likes the jellyfish likes them because they are “great dancers” and beautiful as well as strong. Another boy likes axolotls because they have “superpowers” but are also “very gentle.”
Adult readers may know that a goby changing between male and female is actually changing its sex, not its gender, whereas Alex’s fluidity is of gender, but the teacher elides this point in order to make the larger point that traditional binaries (whether of sex or gender) are not always fixed. I’ll trust O’Toole, who is nonbinary, that this resonates for at least some nonbinary people, making this an affirming and recommended tale for those who want a story with a distinct but gentle pedagogic approach.
Alex is White with red hair. Other characters reflect a range of racial/ethnic identities.
