The question is right in the title, but this book is not nearly as pedantic as that might imply. In fact, it addresses the question in a clever and lighthearted way that may better convey its message than a more serious treatment. When Elvi, who has two moms, is asked the titular question by her friend Nicholas, she replies, “They’re both my mom.”
When he insists, “Only the one who had you in her tummy can be your real mom,” Elvi answers, “Fine! She’s wearing jeans.” One can hear the exasperation in her voice and guess this isn’t the first time she’s dealt with this. “They’re both in jeans,” Nicholas observes. Her real mom is a pirate in disguise! Elvi responds. She can speak with gorillas! She crochets hammocks for polar bears! Nicholas is doubtful. After several other wildly inventive clues involving the language of whales, flying dragons, and more, Elvi relents. Her real mom is the one who holds her when she’s scared and kisses her goodnight. They both do, Nicholas says. “Exactly!” Elvi replies. It’s an empowering approach that shows a child who confidently has her own solution, and I love it.
Elvi has medium-dark skin and straight brown hair; Nicholas’ skin is lighter and he has brown curly hair. One of Elvi’s moms has dark skin and black hair; the other has lighter skin and brown hair.
I’ll be the first to say that we need more books that simply include LGBTQ characters without making them an “issue,” but there’s still a time and a place for books that deal smartly with some of the questions that children in LGBTQ families may encounter. Who’s Your Real Mom? is one of them.
Also published in the U.K. as Who’s Your Real Mum?
