Author Nicole Melleby has made a name for herself with thoughtful, original novels of queer protagonists and queer families, and she doesn’t disappoint here, in a novel about family, secrets, and finding community.
Twelve-year-old Winnie Nash isn’t happy about spending the summer at her grandmother’s home on the Jersey Shore. But her father is busy at work and her mother needs to focus on her own health—physical and mental—during her pregnancy, after having miscarried several times previously. Winnie thinks Grandma’s friends are boring, though. She’s joined their book club anyway, but is annoyed that they don’t think she’ll do the reading. What’s really making Winnie uncomfortable, though, are her secrets. Her parents have asked that she not talk with her grandmother about her mother’s “sad” days of struggling with depression. And although her parents have been accepting of the fact that Winnie likes girls, they have also asked that she not tell her grandmother. Winnie is willing to sacrifice her own smiles, though, in order to help her mom regain hers—but we can see the stress this causes her.
She eventually makes friends with two other girls in her grandmother’s neighborhood, Pippa Lai and Lucía Delgado, but still holds in much about her family situation. And even though she comes out to Pippa and Lucía, who are understanding, Winnie still longs to be held by a supportive queer community. She’s been given a glance of this by her mom’s best friend Maria, who is also queer and has long been almost an aunt to Winnie. Winnie sets her sights on going to New York City’s Pride celebration—although she doesn’t know how she’ll get around Grandma or her promise to attend Pippa’s family picnic on the same day.
As always, Melleby gives us an insightful exploration of her protagonist’s inner life and growth, going beyond tropes about the challenges of growing up to create nuanced, complex characters. She shows us the harm caused by secrets, even unintentionally; the multiple ways of finding support—from friends, family, and community; and the need to stand up for one’s own wellness even when others are struggling with theirs. Highly recommended.
Winnie and her family are White; Pippa Asian, and Lucía Latina.
