An upbeat, one-volume overview on identity, relationships, family, discrimination, privilege, intersectionality, and being an ally. Despite a few places where I feel some clarification is needed, this book covers a lot of ground but does it well overall, with an upbeat tone that repeatedly reminds readers that all gender identities, gender expressions, and sexual orientations are great and what matters is being oneself.
Branfman, a visiting assistant professor of gender and media studies at the College of William & Mary, is succinct, concise, and conversational throughout, and focuses on dispelling myths about gender and sexuality. “Maybe you’ve heard the idea that everyone has to be a boy or a girl,” he writes on the first page. That “maybe you’ve heard” phrase is used in several other places to tackle misconceptions and stereotypes and to offer instead a view of the world that includes a wide, LGBTQ-inclusive range of genders and attractions, including people who are cisgender, transgender, intersex, gender non-binary, genderqueer, gender nonconforming, or genderfluid. Unlike some LGBTQ-inclusive children’s books on sexuality, he also explains what it means to be asexual or aromantic, and affirms that not everyone has to get married, even those who have children.
I also appreciate that much of the book is devoted to issues of discrimination, privilege, and allyship, topics inextricably intertwined with gender and sexuality today. Branfman’s explanations are direct and attuned to the age group; he defines “privilege,” for example, as “when you get advantages, or nice treatment, or an easier life just because of who you are.” He also astutely notes, “It’s so important to notice those problems [of privilege], even when they don’t happen to you personally.” I have to question the situation Branfman uses to demonstrate this, though. We see a picture of a man and a woman at two adjoining desks, and Branfman writes, “For example, this man is sad because he spilled his coffee, but he should still notice that he’s earning more than women at his job who do the same work.” While I do believe it’s always good to be aware of one’s privilege, that doesn’t have anything to do with spilling his coffee. No one would really take the time to reflect on their greater salary as coffee flows into their lap. Readers may be more confused than enlightened here. A better example would be one that focuses on the job, e.g., “This man is sad because he didn’t get to work on a new project in the office, but he should still notice that he’s earning more than women at his job who do the same work.”
I have to question, too, the sentence that says one’s body parts “are shaped by the chromosomes you inherit from your parents.” To an elementary school child who may have been created with donor cells or adopted, that could lead to confusion, as the people they call “parent” are not necessarily the ones from whom they inherited chromosomes. Problem is, the book never goes into the details of reproduction. That’s understandable on one level, as there’s already a lot packed in—but means that further adult explanation may be needed.
Additionally, I think Branfman’s explanation of what it means to transition genders could have been presented more clearly. He starts by saying that “People transition by going to the doctor for special medicine called hormone treatment, and sometimes also for surgery,” and only later on the page, after an illustration, notes that some trans and genderqueer people don’t want to transition, can’t afford to do so, or do so just by changing their clothes or hair. I think the section would have worked better by talking about transitioning through clothes or hair first, since that’s often what trans people do first, even if some choose to take hormones or have surgery later. There’s also no mention of using pronouns consistent with one’s gender identity, which is for many an important part of transitioning. (The National Center for Transgender Equality’s description of “gender transition” is instructive here.)
Despite those places where I feel some clarification is needed, this isn’t a bad book. It covers a lot of ground but does it well overall, with an upbeat tone that repeatedly reminds readers that all gender identities, gender expressions, and sexual orientations are great and what matters is being oneself. Adults may wish to supplement the book with more single-focus ones, such as It Feels Good to Be Yourself: A Book About Gender Identity, by Theresa Thorn, Sex Is a Funny Word: A Book About Bodies, Feelings, and You, by Cory Silverberg and Fiona Smyth, or fiction titles with characters of various gender and sexual identities. Nevertheless, You Be You provides a handy, helpful, and supportive one-volume overview of gender, sexuality, and family structure. Colorful and dynamic illustrations by Julie Benbassat show people with a variety of gender expressions, skin tones, ethnic identities, physical abilities, and ages, making this a book that many will likely appreciate for both school and home bookshelves.
