A middle grade guide to gender whose upbeat and helpful approach is marred by a few poorly thought out (though well-intentioned) passages.
Author Ben Pechey begins with a discussion of the differences between sex and gender and moves on to look at hegemony, heteronormativity, and gender stereotypes. Subsequent chapters look more closely at various gender identities, pronouns (and how to practice them), clothing and gender expression, “big questions” about one’s own identity, grappling with uncertainty about ourselves, and dealing with loneliness, bias, bullying, and negative media. mental health and self-care, being an ally to others, and being kind to and patient with ourselves.
Various famous contemporary and historical LGBTQ celebrities are profiled throughout the book, and one chapter is dedicated to advice from people in the LGBTQIA+ community—not as famous as those profiled in other chapters, but accomplished in their individual fields.
Pechey is upbeat, conversational, and affirming, and recognizes that understanding ourselves and our gender is a process. They helpfully sum up each chapter with key takeaways and a short (and often humorous) quiz, crossword, or other activity.
The book was published in the U.K. and occasional references to U.K. personalities or terms (“naff”) may puzzle U.S. readers, but there’s nothing that can’t be understood with a quick Internet search.
A few passages feel poorly worded or not well thought out, however. For example, Pechey says, “If we all acted the same, imagine how dull life would be. A good example of this is that professional people should look professional to be taken seriously.” But the fact that “professional people should look professional to be taken seriously” is not really an example of how life is dull. I’ve seen some pretty festive ties, scarves, and dresses in professional settings, not to mention wonderfully patterned scrubs among healthcare professionals. If they’d said something like “professional people should all wear dark, conservative suits to be taken seriously,” that would have made the point better (though still, much depends upon the profession).
Elsehwhere, in exploring why we have gender, sex, and sexuality, Pechey says that gender roles are used to put people into categories, which are “used by our government—the rule makers—and other big organizations to make money.” That’s the only reason given for why we have gender roles—and while it may be true in part, it’s far from the only explanation, and ignores huge swaths of history and social science.
And the sentence, “Claude Cahun is one of the most historical role models I will share with you” should have been “most historic.” (“Most historical” is a meaningless phrase.)
A final chapter of resources seems generally useful, although some URLs are given with “https://” or “http://” while others are not; some are given with “www” while others are not. Neither is really needed in a modern browser—but the lack of consistency speaks to sloppy editing.
Nevertheless, the book’s message that “Gender is yours to shape. You get to make the rules for yourself; you’re in charge!” is a welcome one.
