Chances are, if you’re a parent in a same-sex relationship, you’ve been asked “What do your kids call you?” If you’re a prospective parent, you may have asked it of yourself. Sometimes it’s for informational purposes—as when a teacher needs to know how to refer to you—sometimes it’s just nosy, as if the person can’t imagine how having two moms doesn’t confuse a kid. Here’s what I’ve discovered—with help from many of you.
A recently posted photo for the NOH8 campaign features two moms breastfeeding their 18-month-old baby. One article, however, misses the point that both moms—biological and nonbiological—are of equal value as parents.
A nonbiological mother is the legal parent of her daughter, the New Hampshire Supreme Court ruled last week, in yet another unfortunate instance of a biological mother trying to claim otherwise.
The Colorado Court of Appeals has ruled that a child can have two parents of the same sex, even if they have not done a second-parent adoption. This is good news—but behind it is yet another case of a biological mother trying to deny parental rights to a nonbiological mother.
Great news out of Kansas this afternoon. In a case involving two lesbian moms, the state Supreme Court ruled that a non-biological mother may be recognized as a parent under the law.
Gina Trapani is best known as the founder of the Lifehacker blog, but also began a much more personal venture this year—her own family. She wrote recently about her and her wife’s path to parenthood in “How to Make a Baby” for The Magazine. When a piece begins, “Choosing a sperm donor is a little bit like setting up an Xbox avatar,” you know it’s worth a read.
New mom A wrote this week at Two Mothers McGill about her “Non-Biological Perspective” before, during, and after the birth of her daughter with partner T. She gives voices to feelings I’ve heard from many nonbio moms—worrying if she will bond with their child, being hurt by others’ comments about how much the baby is like her partner, thinking about when their daughter will someday meet her donor. Even if you’ve experienced or read about similar sentiments before, however, you should go read her post for the eloquence with which she expresses them.
Please welcome to the blogosphere Charlotte and Betsy, who recently launched one of the best-titled blogs I’ve seen in a while: Turkey Baster and Bottle of Wine. Their subtitle clarifies: “On being a queer, non-gestational parent.”
This week’s pick, “(An)Other Mother,” comes from Partner A at Cats and Cradles. In it, she reflects on life as a non-gestational mother, a term she prefers to “non-biological mother.” Now, posts about being a non-gestational/non-biological mother are not uncommon. Heck, there are whole blogs and even whole books on the topic. But Partner A offers some wonderful insights to add to the conversation.
