A 2009 Review of LGBTQ Family Books

(Originally published in Bay Windows, December 10, 2009. I’ve covered a few of the books below in separate columns, but several of them are new—and good. Enjoy!)

There are still relatively few books for and about LGBTQ families, but 2009 gave us as good and diverse a crop as I’ve seen in a long time. Here are some highlights:

A recent and welcome addition is Gringa: A Contradictory Girlhood, Melissa Hart’s memoir of growing up in the 1970’s separated from her mother, who lost custody of her children after she divorced their father and came out as a lesbian. More than a tale about a parent’s coming out, however, it is the story of a girl seeking her own identity as she moves between her father’s white, middle-class Los Angeles neighborhood and her mother’s adopted Latino one, and navigates the wider currents of race and culture in Southern California. Told with a keen, retrospective self-awareness and a dash of humor, it is an engrossing coming-of-age story by one of the first generation of queerspawn to identify as such. It is written for adults, but should appeal to older teens as well.

Two volumes of essays on LGBTQ families—And Baby Makes More and Who’s Your Daddy?—offer a wealth of perspectives from LGBTQ parents, their adult children, sperm and egg donors, and others on what it means to be a family today. The Canadian volumes are not officially for sale yet in the U.S., but you can order them through Canada-based online booksellers such as Chapters.indigo.ca, or through the publishers, Insomniac Press and Women’s Press, respectively.

The grand dame of LGBTQ children’s literature, Lesléa Newman, celebrated the 20th anniversary of her classic Heather Has Two Mommies with a special edition, now in full color. She also published two new board books for toddlers, Mommy, Mama, and Me and Daddy, Papa, and Me. The books are less issue-driven than Heather, with bouncy rhymes simply showing a child going through everyday activities with his or her parents.

Every year or so, it seems, a gay or lesbian parent decides to self-publish a picture book about his or her family, trying to make up for the dearth of works that depict us. All are earnest; most, however, are of dubious quality. It is important to have books that show our families—but not at the expense of engaging text and art that make children want to read the books and libraries to stock them. One of the standouts of the self-published lot, however, is Arwen and her Daddies by Jarko De Witte van Leeuwen. In it, Arwen tells the tale of how she, a New York-born African American child, came to be adopted by her two Dutch fathers. The pictures are bright and full of happiness, and the family dog adds extra character. It seems best for preschool and kindergarten-age children and is available in English and Dutch from feel-good-families.com.

For elementary school students comes Patricia Polacco’s In Our Mothers’ House, in which an adopted black child narrates the story of life with her two white moms and her younger siblings, an Asian American brother and white sister. It deals obliquely with one prejudiced neighbor, but is mostly a gentle tale about the treasures of everyday life.

Older elementary and early middle school students will enjoy Lauren Myracle’s Luv Ya Bunches, the peppy tale of four girls who form a clique-busting friendship and harness the power of a homemade social networking Web site to take down the school’s queen bee. The book made headlines when children’s publisher Scholastic asked Myracle to change the two moms of one character to a mom and a dad, even though the parents are not a focal point of the story. When Myracle refused, the Scholastic Book Fair division said it would not sell the book at its hugely popular events. After an online grassroots campaign led by Change.org, they agreed to carry it, but only in their middle school fairs, even though the book’s protagonists are in elementary school. The book is the first of a four-part series featuring white Camilla (of the two moms), African American Violet, who lives with her dad, half-Chinese Katie-Rose, and Muslim Yasaman.

This year also saw the first picture book to feature a transgender child as protagonist. 10,000 Dresses, by Marcus Ewert is a joyous story about self-acceptance and identity, with exuberant illustrations by graphic designer Rex Ray. Young Bailey dreams of 10,000 beautiful dresses, even though her family tells her, “Boys don’t wear dresses.” It is only after meeting an older girl who shares her love of dresses that Bailey is able to see her creations come to life. The story is simple enough for preschoolers, but should appeal to children through the early elementary grades.

Brand new in the U.S. this month is a similar-sounding story for middle-schoolers, David Walliams’ The Boy in the Dress, which first came out last year in the U.K. Twelve-year-old Dennis, a star on his school’s soccer team (“football team” in the book’s British terminology), discovers he loves fashion and dresses. When his friend Lisa convinces him to wear one to school, complete with wig and makeup, he enjoys the experience, until he is found out and kicked off the team right before the big game. Can he and Lisa right this wrong? The denouement stretches credibility a little, but one can’t argue with the warm-hearted message of this fable about difference and acceptance. Dennis is not gay or transgender, however, giving the story a twist on gender variance distinct from 10,000 Dresses—but one with a clear positive message nonetheless. Comic actor Walliams makes the book as funny as one would expect, and the illustrations of Quentin Blake, whose work graces the pages of Roald Dahl’s classics, add charm and whimsy to the tale.

Let’s hope 2010 gives us even more books to celebrate our diversity.

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