I’ve been lighting the Hanukkah candles with my 11-year-old son this week and thinking about how we all could use a little light right now.
Eric Garner, Michael Brown, Jr., Tamir Rice, and others who would likely not have been shot and killed if they were White. The massacre of over 100 children in Pakistan. The deeply saddening story of a 14-year-old boy who was executed in South Carolina over 70 years ago for a murder he didn’t commit — he was exonerated yesterday.
It’s easy to become disheartened. There are no simple answers. It is hard to find hope at this, the darkest time of the year.
I take a moment before lighting our candles to ask my son, who I know is already thinking ahead to presents, if he knows the meaning of the holiday. He offers an abbreviated version of the Maccabees-and-Greeks tale. “But why do we still celebrate that today?” I press him.
“To celebrate the triumph over oppression,” he tells me. We talk a little about various ways people are still oppressed. He seems baffled and angered by the idea of racism.
There, in that moment, I find my hope — in the young people who have not yet fallen prey to bias and prejudice. Yes, biased thinking can start early — with recent research showing it develops between three and five years of age — but that same research shows that “real conversations about race with students make a difference” and “by age 8 — 9, children can help peers reduce prejudice.”
I hope my son continues to be outraged when he encounters racism, sexism, homophobia, or other forms of oppression. I hope he can be an ally to those with less privilege than he has, just as I hope others can be allies to him when they are in the more privileged position. He’s only 11, though, and I am not so naive as to think this will be an easy or straightforward path. Peer pressure, media, and other influences will impact his consciousness over the years. Still, in the glow of our Hanukkah candles, as we start to broach some of these issues, I can’t help but feel some warmth.
May all our children be lights to us.
