In a moment, everything can change. On December 23, my 72-year-old mother was diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer that has spread to her bones and brain.
This was shockingly sudden. She was in apparent health (other than a mysterious ache in her neck) at Thanksgiving, when she drove two hours from her home to be with us. Her mother (my grandmother) lived to 93, and we were expecting my mom to be with us for another decade or two. She was the “healthy” grandparent on my side of the family, as my dad had battled both lymphoma and pancreatic cancer over 12 years before succumbing three years ago. It seems surreal that my mom, who spent so much time caring for him, is now struck with cancer herself.
She’s now in the hospital, getting what seems to be excellent care. It’s a matter of palliative care (pain management), though, not treatment. We’ve heard timeframe estimates from a few weeks to up to a year. She’s still perfectly lucid, although in some discomfort.
Our son, my parents’ only grandchild, is understandably upset, but seems to be taking it with as much perspective as an 11-year-old can muster.
We are blessed that our whole family is pulling together for this — my spouse, my brother and his wife, some close cousins. We spent the last few days reminiscing and Our friends have been unfailingly supportive. A Happy New Year it is not, but it is full of love.
Maintaining this blog will likely help me keep my sanity over the next weeks and months. There may be some unpredictable days going forward when I am unable to post, however, and I ask for your understanding. I would also encourage you to pop over to the Mombian Facebook page to interact with each other and keep the conversations going.
Love your families, however you define them. Treat every day as a gift.
I am sorry to hear about your mom. I’m glad to hear that she is getting the care she needs and that your family is pulling together. I lost my mom to lung cancer, and I know it’s rough. I have you and your family in my thoughts.
Oh Dana, I’m so very sorry to read this! That’s such a stark diagnosis to have to face so unexpectedly, and even tougher at a time of year when the world around you is so focused on being happy and cheerful for various holidays.
I pray that your mother is able to get relief from her pain, and that all of you are able to make the most of the time you can spend together with her.
Oh I’m so, so, sorry that this is happening in your family. It’s not easy. My mom died of breast cancer a few years ago and I am very familiar with the shock and pain of it. Sending you love and good thoughts.
((Dana)) I am so sorry to hear about your mother’s diagnosis. I hate cancer. Sending love and light your way…
Elisa, thank you so much for your kind words and thoughts. I appreciate it more than I can express here.
Thanks, Jen — and good thoughts back to your family in your loss as well.
Thanks, S. Yes, it was particularly hard over the holidays, but I suppose there’s not really a “good” time. I appreciate your kind thoughts.
Thanks, Linda. Yes, it sucks, doesn’t it? I’m very grateful for your thoughts. My best to your family, too.