(Originally published in shorter form in my Mombian newspaper column.) My annual gift guide for LGBTQ families is usually a roundup of the best LGBTQ-inclusive children’s and parenting books of the year—but I’m delighted that this year’s list includes several inclusive kids’ music albums as well.
In Dancin’ In The Kitchen: Songs For All Families, by two-time Grammy Award-winning duo Cathy Fink and Marcy Marxer, the common thread is what makes a family and a home. The pair give us songs (almost all from a child’s perspective) about families with same-sex, different-sex, adoptive, divorced, and biracial parents, as well as ones defying gender stereotypes. It’s a toe-tapping collection.
Some songs in Rainbow Train, by singer-songwriter Chana Rothman, are overtly about gender identity and expression, while others are more generally about empowerment, being oneself, and being comfortable in one’s body. It’s a great mix of tracks you’ll just want to dance to along with ones that will spark further discussion about gender and social justice.
Grammy nominee Linda Perry and actor Sara Gilbert, who welcomed a son last February, have also collaborated on the fun, rockin’ album Deer Sounds. It isn’t specifically about LGBTQ families or even diversity, but brings an open and inclusive sensibility that includes lines like, “I know I’m different, but I’m not the only one…. As I grow up, I’m going to tell the world, that I can be a boy or a girl.”
And folk artist and Grammy nominee Alistair Moock’s All Kinds of You and Me is similarly broad, covering concepts like family, gender, ethnicity, inclusion, and social justice. Like Fink and Marxer, he was inspired by Marlo Thomas’ classic 1972 album, Free to Be … You and Me, and updates the sound and the topics to better resonate with kids (and their parents) today.
Turning to books, in Queer Rock Love: A Family Memoir, writer and activist Paige Schilt takes on a journey with her tattooed, genderqueer, rocker spouse Katy, their son Waylon, and a varied and quirky cast of family and friends. The love she and Katy have for their son and the commitment they have to making their family work shine through like a beacon.
For kids, Stella Brings the Family, by Miriam Schiffer, stars a girl with two dads trying to figure out who to bring as a class guest on Mother’s Day. It echoes the school setting of Lesléa Newman’s classic Heather Has Two Mommies—but like the recent, happily revised version of Heather, the problem is simply an interesting challenge and not (as in the original Heather) a cause for tears.
Suzanne Lang’s Families, Families, Families!conveys the old (but never tiring) message that love makes a family, giving straightforward explanations of different family configurations, for example, “Some children have two mothers. Some children are adopted.”
George Shannon’s One Family depicts multiracial families and ones with same-sex parents, among others, in simple counting verses. The goal is to show the ways that many can be one, whether they be the bananas in a bunch or the members of a family.
A Crow of His Own, by Megan Dowd Lambert, centers on a rooster newly appointed to take on wake-up duties. It’s a tale of finding one’s own voice, quite literally—but also features farmers Jay and Kevin, who clearly but subtly have their arms around each other in two scenes. Lambert confirmed to me they are a couple.
Over the River & Through the Wood: A Holiday Adventure takes the concept of the classic song and gives it a new spin, showing us, through bouncy rhymes, how various couples and their kids within an extended family creatively overcome obstacles on their way to meet at Grandma’s for the (unspecified) holidays. There’s a White couple with three White kids; an interracial gay couple with one light- and one dark-skinned child; an interracial different-sex couple with a biracial (or possibly multiracial) boy; and a White couple with twin girls who look like they might be of Asian descent. It’s a fun romp showing the diversity of families who celebrate our American traditions.
On the non-fiction front, Sex is a Funny Word: A Book about Bodies, Feelings, and YOU
, by Cory Silverberg, offers eight- to ten-year-olds a transgender- and genderqueer-inclusive look at bodies, gender, touch, and types of relationships, as well as an overall exploration of the many meanings of the word “sex” (although the only sexual behavior discussed is masturbation). Throughout, it encourages children to be confident of their own bodies and feelings, and to respect those of others.
And Gay & Lesbian History for Kids: The Century-Long Struggle for LGBT Rights starts with Sappho, Alexander the Great, and other figures from distant history, but then focuses mostly on U.S. social and political history, with occasional mentions of a few prominent non-Americans like Alan Turing. We meet activists, athletes, actors, scientists, and writers, including not only big names like Harvey Milk, but also lesser-known figures like Edythe Eyde, publisher of the first gay magazine in the U.S., politician José Sarria, and gay Vietnam veteran Leonard Matlovich. A series of activities throughout the book, like finding songs by blues singer Gladys Bentley on YouTube or creating a logo for a social justice cause, add fun and engagement.
Moving back to fiction, the rest of the books I’ll mention this year come via the Flamingo Rampant Book Club, created by author and activist S. Bear Bergman. For a $100 annual subscription, members get six “feminist, racially diverse, LGBTQ positive books” by various authors.
The club is off to a good start. In Is That for a Boy or a Girl, by Bergman, short poems show children of many genders and various racial/ethnic identities making independent choices about clothes, toys, activities, and bathroom usage.
A Princess of Great Daring, by Tobi Hill-Meyer, tells of a transgender girl’s first day at school after transitioning. This is not a “problem” tale of transition, however—her friends are unfailingly supportive of her desire to be a princess in their game. The only hitch is when they then assume she wants to be rescued. Hill-Meyer gives us a much-needed vision of school-age trans acceptance, but also defies those who assume a trans girl will necessarily adhere to traditional feminine stereotypes.
In The Zero Dads Club, by Angel Adeyoha, a child with two moms and one being raised by a single mom (both, incidentally, children of color) tackle a similar issue to Stella—doing a Father’s Day project in class. They team up with a child that lives with a grandmother and an aunt, and one that lives with her Mama and Baba (the latter of whom identifies as a “butch”) to share their stories.
Love is in the Hair, by Syrus Marcus Ware, is about a girl staying with her gay uncles while waiting for the birth of a new sibling. She learns about her family through the objects woven into the dreadlocks of one uncle’s hair. The uncles’ gayness is incidental; the focus is the way we collect, keep, and share family memories.
The Newspaper Pirates, by J. Wallace Skelton, is a fun romp about a boy (who is White) with two dads (one White, one Black) trying to figure out who is taking their newspaper.
M is for Mustache: A Pride ABC Book, by Catherine Hernandez, gives us an alphabet of Pride-related words through the eyes of a Filipino American child attending a parade with the many “titas,” or aunties, of her chosen family.
Happy reading, listening, and simply being with your families this season!
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