New Children’s Book Shows Mom Dating Woman after Different-Sex Divorce

A new book adds to the variety of family structures shown in children’s literature by featuring a child whose mom and dad divorced and are now each dating women.

Author Julia Morrison, a high school English teacher in Vancouver, Washington, is divorced from her husband and dating a woman. She has a seven-year-old daughter from her marriage, but couldn’t find any picture books that showed a family like theirs—so she wrote one. Love is What Makes Us a Family tells the story of six-year-old Eliza, whose mom and dad are divorced and are each now dating women.

Morrison focuses on the positives of the divorce: Both parents still love Eliza, and each of their homes is special to her in different ways. Morrison also smartly gives each parent a girlfriend, making their situations parallel and presumably thus easier for children to accept them both.

I find much to like about the tale, but a few of its explanations are a little awkward. Eliza asks her dad, “Why does mommy kiss girls?” which makes it sound like she’s going around kissing a lot of them (not to mention that “women” might have worked better, since presumably they’re all over 18). Her dad answers, “Sometimes mommies fall in love with mommies, and daddies fall in love with daddies.” The use of “mommies” and “daddies” doesn’t quite fit, though, since the mom’s new girlfriend doesn’t appear to have kids from any previous relationship and isn’t shown to be a mom to Eliza (yet). Still, the overall point is clear and praiseworthy: sometimes, these things just happen.

When Eliza then asks her mom, “Why do you love girls now?” her mom replies, “I’m gay, so that means I love girls. I met Meagan, and I fell in love with her. She makes me really happy.” Morrison risks confusing young readers, however, since for gay men, being gay means loving men, not “girls.”

Also, given that many of her core audience—people who have been in different-sex relationships and are now in same-sex ones—may identify as bisexual, using the “gay” label here might limit her readership. Cutting the “I’m gay” sentence entirely and simply starting with “I met Meagan” would have been more inclusive and still kept the heart of the matter—love is love. (Perhaps simple explanations of what “gay,” “lesbian,” and “bisexual” mean would fit in the helpful discussion section Morrison adds after the end of the story.)

I’m being critical here only because I hope also to be constructive. Many children do find themselves in Eliza’s situation, and this book could be of genuine comfort to them. I love that Morrison shows both parents to be supportive of the same-sex relationship. She also reinforces that the mom and dad still love each other, though in different ways now, and that they are united as a family through their love of Eliza.

This is not, however, the first book to show a child with divorced parents, one of whom is now in a same-sex relationship. One of the earliest picture books to feature LGBTQ characters, Michael Willhoite’s Daddy’s Roommate (1990), features a boy whose parents are divorced and whose dad is now in a relationship with a man. The euphemistic term “roommate” sounds dated now, but the book reinforces the ideas of acceptance and family happiness despite the new situation, and that part remains timely.

Kudos to Morrison for now offering us a distaff take on things. The core message is one that bears repeating. As Eliza tells us, “Sometimes families change, and that’s okay.”

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