“What Does a Princess Really Look Like?” She Could Be Brave, Strong, and Have Two Dads

As delicate damsels in ruffled dresses, princesses can be an unrealistic and harmful stereotype, particularly for little girls. Yet for every Cinderella, there is also a Xena. A new picture book asks, “What Does a Princess Really Look Like?” as it tells the tale of a girl creating her own definition of princess—with a little help from her two dads.

What Does a Princess Really Look Like, by Mark Loewen, is the story of Chloe, a young girl who loves princesses and ballerinas. One day, she decides to create a drawing of her own “perfect” princess. She starts by giving her “smarts”–and the illustrations by Ed Pokoj show mathematical symbols floating in her imagination (a nice encouragement for girls in STEM). Chloe continues with the project, ruminating on how a being princess is about more than beauty, and involves being observant, kind, brave, determined, and speaking out when something is wrong.

Chloe is upset when she makes what she thinks is a mistake in her drawing, however. Then her dads come by and say something that makes her realize that what she thought was an error was in fact a positive attribute. It’s a nicely done scene by Loewen, conveying the message without being pedantic—and making the realization be Chloe’s own. In the end, Chloe learns that the princess she created is not some far-off ideal, but someone who reflects the qualities she (Chloe) already has.

Loewen, is a gay dad and father of a girl himself, as well as a therapist in private practice. He tells us that becoming a parent opened his eyes “to the challenges many girls and women face in today’s world.” This inspired him to found Brave Like A Girl, an organization that “celebrates girls who naturally tap into their courage and strength to overcome challenges.” The book is the first in his planned “Brave Like A Girl” series.

I love that this is an LGBTQ-inclusive children’s book with a message, but that the message isn’t about LGBTQ identity. Not that that’s not an important topic—but we LGBTQ parents and our children have multifaceted identities, and sometimes we want books that speak to other parts of us, while still showing families that look like ours. And although Chloe has two dads, her empowering message is one that princess-loving children (and their parents) in all types of families should appreciate.

Watch the book trailer below.

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