Sixty-three percent of LGBTQ millennials—up to 3.8 million people—are considering becoming first-time parents or adding more children to their families, according to a new report from Family Equality Council.
The LGBTQ Family Building Survey also found that 77 percent of LGBTQ millennials (ages 18 to 35) are either already parents or are considering having children, a 44 percent increase over those ages 35 and up.
Additionally, 48 percent of LGBTQ millennials are actively planning to grow their families, compared to 55 percent of non-LGBTQ millennials. This gap between LGBTQ and non-LGBTQ people has “narrowed significantly in comparison to older generations.” (Among non-LGBTQ identified individuals over age 54, 68 percent already have children, versus 28 percent of LGBTQ-identified individuals over 54.) Transgender respondents were just as likely to be considering expanding their families as cisgender ones.
The report attributes the closing gap to the resources now available to LGBTQ people planning families. Even 10 years ago, it says, “There were significantly fewer options for those in the LGBTQ community pursuing foster care and adoption, fewer safeguards for securing legal parentage of biologically-conceived children, and a lack of parenting resources for the community as a whole.”
Another changing dynamic is that LGBTQ respondents who are already parents reported that intercourse was used 73 percent of the time to build their families, “either within the context of a previous heterosexual relationship or as part of a different-sex relationship where one or both partners identifies as bisexual.” Among those planning to become parents in the future, however, 63 percent expect to use assisted reproductive technology, foster care, or adoption. That’s definitely a shift, which Family Equality attributes largely to people coming out earlier, but we should note that 37 percent still expect to use intercourse—a reminder of the variety of our community.
The report notes the need for family-building professionals such as midwives, fertility specialists, social workers, and lawyers “to receive training about the unique needs of the LGBTQ community” and to ensure that their forms and computer systems are inclusive of LGBTQ families. Family Equality this week also launched a training program for such professionals with this in mind. They also note “insurance policies are rarely created to meet the needs of LGBTQ family building” (about which more from me very shortly! [UPDATED: See more here.]) and that “discrimination against LGBTQ prospective parents by agencies and providers remains widespread.”
The survey was conducted online in 2018 among a nationally representative sample of 500 adults over 18 years of age, who identify as LGBTQ. There were 237 men, 253 women, and 10 who identified as other genders. They also surveyed a comparison group of of 488 men and 516 women over 18 who identify as non-LGBTQ.
The rise in LGBTQ people who are or want to be parents also triggers another need, as I see it. Despite growth in the amount of LGBTQ-inclusive children’s books and media, we still need more—and much as I believe the bulk of them should show our children in their everyday lives without a focus on LGBTQ identity, we also need books that help explain the particular aspects of these identities to children. There are few books about LGBTQ family creation; even fewer, if any, that show a child with LGBTQ parents getting a new sibling, and only one, a self-published effort
There are still therefore unmet needs, but clearly, we’re here, we’re queer, and we’re growing our families. That observation is what motivated me to launch this site over 13 years ago, and what still keeps me going today. I look forward to the continued growth of LGBTQ families in the future.