Infertility Resources for LGBTQ People

Infertility can come in many forms—but no matter how you encounter it as an LGBTQ person, here’s my updated list of resources to help, in honor of National Infertility Awareness Week.

For some LGBTQ and single people, “infertility” may mean needing outside assistance before even trying to reproduce—sometimes called “social infertility” or “circumstantial infertility.” For others, it is a medical diagnosis indicating that conception will be difficult no matter what. And sometimes our struggles with medical infertility may not be taken seriously, since it is assumed we need assistance anyway (or, for two-uterus couples, can simply use the other person’s uterus). Those are harmful assumptions. (Not everyone with a uterus wants to be pregnant, for any number of personal reasons.)

I write about social infertility more often (since it’s a frequent part of LGBTQ family building via pregnancy), so I’m going to emphasize medical infertility below, although many of the resources overlap. I’ll note that it is hard to find LGBTQ-specific resources for medical infertility, since ones for social infertility dominate, while medical infertility resources tend to be geared towards different-sex couples. Please leave a comment if you know of any that I have missed!

Online Infertility Resources

• Family Equality offers a number of family-building resources, including:
  • Family-building grants to help with fertility and address infertility;
  • A guide to Recurrent Pregnancy Loss;
  • Information specific to trans family building, including understanding how hormones impact fertility and when and how to preserve your fertility if you’re going to transition;
  • Biweekly virtual meetups for LGBTQ people trying to conceive (TTC);
  • A glossary of terms related to pregnancy and assisted reproduction.
• RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association, is the go-to site for information about infertility. Their website includes information on the biology of medical infertility, options for treating it, insurance coverage, and more. They also have a special page on LGBTQ Family Building Options, which includes resources on ways of financing fertility treatments (but not a lot on LGBTQ medical infertility).
• ReproductiveFacts.org, from the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM), is a reputable, if not necessarily all-gender-inclusive, source of information on reproductive health. They include general resources about infertility as well as LGBTQIA Resources.
• RTZ HOPE is a national non-profit that provides support, resources, and community for all people who have experienced pregnancy or infant loss. Among other more general resources, they include some for LGBTQ families.
• FertilityIQ offers information, reviews for doctors and clinics, and paid courses on many aspects of fertility and infertility, LGBTQ and otherwise. Again, most of the LGBTQ-specific information (including information for trans people) focuses on social fertility, not medical infertility, but there’s still useful stuff here.
• Trans Fertility Co. provides trans-specific information on many topics, including fertility preservation and the impact of hormone regimens on fertility.
• You may also want to try one or more of the many Facebook groups for queer parents trying to conceive. Search keyword combinations like “lgbtq fertility,” “lgbt fertility,” “lgbtq ttc,” “lgbt ttc,” etc.

Guidebooks and Memoirs

These two books, while about queer fertility more generally, also cover medical infertility and offer useful, gender-inclusive information on understanding human reproductive systems:

• Baby Making for Everybody: Family Building and Fertility for LGBTQ+ and Solo Parents, by Marea Goodman and Ray Rachlin (Balance).
• Queer Conception: The Complete Fertility Guide for Queer and Trans Parents-to-Be, by Kristin Liam Kali (Sasquatch Books).

If your infertility is social and not necessarily medical, you may also want to look at one or more other books on LGBTQ family building. (Be careful with the sections on legal parentage in all of the LGBTQ parenting guides, however, as several have errors or misleading information—see my reviews for details, and always check with an LGBTQ-competent lawyer in your state.)

A number of books also offer stories of LGBTQ families who have experienced medical infertility. Sometimes reading about other people’s similar stories can help us better understand our own, or at least not feel so alone:

• Reproductive Losses: Challenges to LGBTQ Family-Making, by Christa Craven (Routledge), draws on interviews with 54 queer people who experienced loss as gestational parents, non-gestational parents with gestational partners, or through adoption loss, as well as from the author’s own experience with pregnancy loss. Craven explores the queer-specific nuances of how her subjects experienced grief, the support (or lack thereof) available to them, how they found resiliency, and the intersections of social class, race, and religion. This book is a must-read for any queer person who has experienced reproductive loss or is supporting someone who has.
• There are also several memoirs by queer people who have experienced medical infertility. While some of their experiences may resonate with all LGBTQ prospective parents (and even non-LGBTQ ones), I will note that they all focus on the experiences of cisgender, White women; I wish they were more diverse. Much as I do not wish infertility upon anyone, I would love to see more memoirs about medical infertility from people of other identities. (If I’ve missed any, please let me know!)
• My spouse and I were socially, not medically, infertile, but here’s our story of using in vitro fertilization (IVF), specifically reciprocal IVF (my egg, her womb), in case you find it of interest.

Medical Providers

Looking for a medical provider to help? Try:

• Family Equality’s LGBTQ+ Family Building Directory
• The LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory, which can be filtered to find fertility specialists
• The ASRM’s directory of practicing members (not LGBTQ specific)
• FertilityIQ’s directory of providers and crowdsourced reviews (not LGBTQ specific)

A More Inclusive Definition and Expanding Insurance Coverage

Many insurers only cover fertility treatment after a medical diagnosis of infertility. This can mean a requirement to “try naturally” for months before being eligible for treatment (obviously not an option for single people and same-sex couples), or for same-sex couples to pay out of pocket for documented attempts at assisted insemination, while different-sex couples can simply state that they’ve been trying.

The American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM), however, updated its definition of “infertility” last fall to make it more inclusive of LGBTQ and single people who seek fertility healthcare. While not legally binding, ASRM guidelines nevertheless have clout, and the change could motivate policymakers and insurers to be more inclusive as well. Nevertheless, only 21 states plus D.C. have laws mandating any kind of fertility coverage, with only D.C., Illinois, Colorado, Maine, and New Jersey using definitions clearly and fully inclusive of LGBTQ and single people.

Still, some companies are also starting to offer fertility benefits without needing a medical diagnosis and preauthorization, as I discussed a few years ago. And RESOLVE noted in its 2021 Survey on Fertility Benefits that over a third of the companies that responded said they designed their infertility benefits to be available to LGBTQ+ and/or single employees. RESOLVE is working on additional legislation across the U.S. to ensure equal access to family building options for all.

• Looking for state-by-state laws on what assisted reproductive procedures must be covered? Both RESOLVE and the ASRM have the data.
• Interested in advocating for (in)fertility benefits at your employer? RESOLVE has resources to help you there.

Protecting Access to Fertility Care

As an Alabama Supreme Court decision earlier this year unfortunately showed us, fertility care for anyone (particularly IVF) is now at risk.

• Want to advocate for fertility care? The ASRM has a list of what you can do.
• RESOLVE’s Fight for Families initiative is working to maintain access to IVF.
  • Sign up for RESOLVE’s Advocacy Network (RAN)
  • Send this letter to urge lawmakers to protect IVF and stop anti-family bills

You Are Not Alone

For LGBTQ people facing infertility, the best advice I can give (since I am not a medical professional or therapist) is: You’re not alone. You deserve as much of a chance to form your family as anyone else, no matter your sexual orientation or gender identity. Best wishes in your journey. I wish you love and support along the way.