A new documentary now on the film festival circuit follows three sets of queer parents and their teenage children more than a decade after they were first profiled by the same filmmaker. Watch a trailer and learn more about the families.
My Dads, My Moms and Me, by Julia Ivanova, gives us a glimpse into the lives of Randy and Drew, who have an adopted son; Scott, who had twins through a surrogate; and Steve, who is co-parenting two daughters with lesbian moms Wendy and Cory. The three families were also the subjects of Ivanova’s 2007 film Fatherhood Dreams, part of “the first generation after same-sex marriage was legalized in Canada,” Ivanova explains on her website.
The Globe and Mail in Toronto recently interviewed Ivanova and the families in the film. The paper notes that for the original film, “When [Ivanova] approached Canadians on the street in Vancouver for their opinions, people appeared tepid about LGBTQ families, wondering on camera about whether the children of gay parents might grow up confused, damaged or ‘turn out gay.'” Now, “Catching up with the families and their teenagers, the new film is a response to these prejudiced fears: Ivanova reveals the kids are alright. More than anything, My Dads, My Moms and Me telegraphs the boring normalcy of these families.”
“Normal” doesn’t mean problem-free, though, and Ivanova isn’t afraid to show Drew and Randy’s son’s teen moodiness and angst or how the dads sometimes struggled to fit in with straight, cisgender neighbors and with other, childfree gay men. “Our goal wasn’t to show a perfect picture but the real picture,” Ivanova told the Globe and Mail. Bravo for that.
Ivanova said she plans to follow the families in the coming years as well. To me, her project has echoes of the National Longitudinal Lesbian Family Study, which has researched the same cohort of lesbian mothers and their children for more than 30 years. The latter, of course, is a scientific study, while the film is not, but both offer informative and inspiring portraits of queer families over time.
The film will be screening at the Vancouver International Film Festival October 3, 6 and 11. If, like me, you’re far from Vancouver, watch for it at film festivals near you and check out the trailer below (and the Globe and Mail article above).