Wishing a very happy day to all who claim today as their own, whether you spell it Mother’s Day, Mothers’ Day, or (my proposal from a few years back) Motherz Day. No matter what parental name your kids call you, if you want to celebrate today, then do it.
We mothers are a varied lot, who include biological moms, nonbiological moms, adoptive moms, birth moms, surrogate moms, foster moms, step moms, gestational moms, genetic moms, chosen moms, lesbian moms, bisexual moms, transgender women who took on the title “mom” as they transitioned (though not all do), transgender men who prefer the title “mom” (though not all do), relatives or others who became mother figures to a child, feminine moms, masculine moms, androgynous moms, nonbinary moms, genderfluid moms, and moms who prefer no label.
We may be coupled, single, polyamorous, separated, divorced, or co-parenting with one or more non-romantic partners. We or our children may be differently abled. We are sometimes the same race, ethnicity, or religion as our children, and sometimes not. Our children may be living with us or not. They may be alive or may have passed from this life. We may be employed outside the home full time, part time, or not at all, by choice or circumstance. We are rich, poor, and in between. We are moms of one, two, or many. We’re combinations of the above and definitely a varied lot (and I’m sure I missed some variations).
I even just wrote a guest post for Gays With Kids, too, in which I hoped that all dads and men whose roles and identities incline them more towards celebrating today would do so, too. I’m happy to have more at the party. (And conversely, if you are a person more inclined to celebrate on Father’s Day or the recently created Nonbinary Parents Day, then by all means do that.)
Perhaps in an ideal world there would be no gendered parental holidays. For families with more than one parent, yes, it’s nice if each person gets their own day. Maybe the solution is to celebrate over a week, with each parent getting their own day no matter their gender, and using the remaining days to celebrate other people (donors, birth parents, etc.) or other aspects of family life (love, togetherness, respect, caring, etc.) Since different families may have different structures, this could all be up to the individual family to configure. I offer this as an idea for anyone who wants it—if your family does something like this, please leave a comment to let us know!
One additional way to celebrate during this season is on #LGBTQFamiliesDay, an event I created in 2006 as a day for online storytelling and sharing about LGBTQ families. I hold it each year at the beginning of June, which is not only the start of Pride Month, but also roughly midway between Mother’s Day and Father’s Day—honoring both, but reminding us that not all parents exist at one of those poles. Please join me on June 1, 2021, for the event’s 16th year. Simply post, tweet, or share on any social media channel in celebration and support of LGBTQ families and include the hashtag #LGBTQFamiliesDay. You can also follow the hashtag throughout the day and share the stories, images, and thoughts from other participants, and optionally, submit a link to one of your posts for inclusion in the master list of #LGBTQFamiliesDay stories. Many thanks to Family Equality for once again sponsoring the event. (Maybe I’ll take my own idea and extend it into a week in the future….)
However you celebrate and whomever you celebrate with, may today be full of joy and love.