The parenting storylines continue this week on The L Word: Generation Q as Angie gets to know her donor sibling, finds out something troubling about her donor, and seeks help, while Alice deals with her own mother.
Spoilers ahead.
Angie
We first glimpse Tina and Bette’s teen daughter Angie this week as she is walking in the park with her donor sibling Kayla, whom she met last episode. They’re getting to know each other and sharing life goals. Angie tells Kayla that her moms always told her she could be president or a Supreme Court judge, but she would always say she wanted to be Snoopy, “‘Cause I was four, and it seemed doable.” Way to temper your moms’ vaulting ambitions for you.
Kayla responds that she wanted to be a dancer. Angie tells her she still could, and Kayla tells her “You sound like my dad.” She immediately apologizes for bringing him up and asks if it’s “weird” if she talks about him. Angie says no, and reassures Kayla that she’s not just hanging out with her in order to “get to him in some way.”
Kayla understands, and they both affirm they are enjoying getting to know each other, donor aside. (Fact is, research shows that many donor-conceived people meet their donor siblings, often through the Donor Sibling Registry or other online groups, long before they ever meet their donor—and some may never meet their donor if he hasn’t agreed to do so. That means donor siblings may play a more important role in some people’s lives than their donors.)
Angie wants to know what her donor is like, though. As I said in an earlier recap, we should see this as her wanting to understand parts of herself, not as wanting to replace either of her moms. Kayla says he’s like “a big kid,” but as an artist, can also be serious and focused, and can play “literally any instrument.” Angie apparently can, too. (So let’s see this, showrunners.) “I think you would like him,” Kayla says. “‘Cause he’s a lot like you.” Angie beams.
Kayla has something to tell Angie, though, and she’s having trouble figuring out how.
Fast forward to Angie and “Uncle Shane” sitting at a café. Angie reveals that Kayla said her father, Angie’s donor, is dying. Angie wants to know if Shane thinks she should try to meet him first.
Shane tells Angie she doesn’t know, to which Angie replies, “Adults aren’t supposed to say that.” True, but Shane’s never been afraid to be blunt. She senses Angie needs more from her, though, and tries a Socratic approach, answering a question with a question: “Do you want to meet him?”
“Shouldn’t I?” Angie responds. This isn’t getting anywhere. Angie asks, “What would you do?”
Shane says that’s difficult, and Angie thinks it’s because Shane knew her dad. “Barely,” Shane replies, and then recaps what we know from the original series: Her dad left when she was very young; Shane was in and out of foster care. Later, when she tracked him down, “I realized I didn’t like the guy,” she says, because “He reinforced the worst parts that were in me.” This caused her to “[leave] someone that I loved very much at the altar.” (And we all sob a little for Carmen.)
Shane goes back to questions, asking, “What are you going to get out of meeting him?”
Angie explains, “He’s half my DNA, so it would be really nice to know which parts of me are from him.”
Shane asks if she’s spoken with her moms about this. Angie hasn’t, so Shane tries another question. “Where’s Jordi?”
We know Angie has spoke with her girlfriend Jordi about her donor, but now Angie relates, “She is running for prom queen. So we are on sort of different life pages at the moment.” (I’m not sure if that’s foreshadowing a split between them, or a plot line involving Jordi having to be prom queen with the prom king and her and Angie’s reaction to that.)
Angie then asks Shane, “You think Mama B would let me see a therapist?” Merely by asking this, Angie proves that she’s one of the most emotionally mature characters on the show. Simply knowing she wants a therapist places her miles ahead of the many other characters who could use one.
“I think if that’s something you need, she’d be more than willing to give that to you,” Shane opines.
Angie wonders why it’s still scary. Shane agrees that “It’s scary, but it’s impressive and brave, asking for what you need. Not many people do that.” Exactly.
Later, Angie shows up at the LGBTQ center and runs into Micah, Dani’s friend, and also a therapist. She tells him that she’s going through some things she’s confused about, and he stays late to speak with her, although we don’t hear what they discuss.
Scene change, and Angie is waiting on the sofa at home as Bette comes in. Bette immediately knows something’s wrong. “Is it school? No, no. Is it Jordi? Is it Kayla?” she asks.
“I think I need to talk to someone,” Angie tells her. ”
“You know you can always tell me anything,” Bette says.
Angie knows, but also knows that it can be difficult “when I think it’s hard for you to hear.”
Bette says she understands and tells Angie “I will do my best just to listen.” That isn’t always the easiest thing for her—but as we’ve seen before, parenthood can soften even Alpha Bette.
Angie tells her she saw a therapist, though, and Bette seems to realize that her listening isn’t enough. She asks Angie if she was happy with the therapist or wants her to make an appointment with someone else. Angie liked him, but asks if Bette, Tina, and Carrie, Tina’s fiancée, could all come next time. She’s already spoken with Tina and Carrie, who agreed. Perhaps Angie spoke with them first because Bette was busy at work, or perhaps she did so because Bette—tough, take-charge, fix anything Bette—was the hardest for her to be vulnerable with or the one she though she’d have the hardest time convincing.
Bette, however, says “Of course,” and affirms, “I’d do anything for you.”
I love this whole storyline, from the importance of having a non-parent family member (chosen or otherwise) like Shane to speak with about the things that are hard to discuss with parents, to the ultimate support shown by Bette to Angie’s need for professional help. Angie is brave in asking for help; Bette is brave in admitting there are needs her child has that she can’t personally meet, and in helping her getting them met elsewhere.
Alice
Alice and Nat have broken up. Since Alice had been living with Nat and her kids, Alice now goes to reclaim her own home, where her mother Lenore has been living. We know things aren’t going to go well when Lenore mentions her small business, a “multi-level marketing company,” and Alice points out that it’s a scam. Still, Lenore is supportive when Alice tells her of the break-up, saying, “I know how much you loved her and the kids”—but then ruins the effect by adding, “You know, as much as a person can love kids.” If that was Lenore’s attitude while raising Alice, it’s no wonder Alice has a touchy relationship with her now.
Alice tells her mom that she needs her home back and wants the place to herself—we can understand why—but will pay for an apartment for her mom. “You need me,” her mom counters.
Alice says she loves her, “But you got to be out by Monday.” As much as we love our parents, there comes a point when we really don’t want to be living with them anymore.
Later, though, the editor who is helping Alice with her memoir nudges her into talking about Dana, the love of her live who died way back during the first L Word series. Between that and the break up with Nat, Alice is emotionally wrung out. She comes home and falls, sobbing, into her mother’s arms. At some points, a parent is exactly who’s needed.
Alice, Lenore, Angie, and Bette show us this episode that sometimes parenting is about simply being there for your child, but other times it’s about facilitating what you cannot provide, whether it’s a conversation with Uncle Shane or a therapist. It takes a village—or a West Hollywood neighborhood.