It’s National Infertility Awareness Week here in the U.S. For some LGBTQ and single people, “infertility” means needing outside assistance before even trying to reproduce—sometimes called “social infertility.” For others, infertility is a medical diagnosis indicating that conception will be difficult no matter what. Here are some resources to help regardless of how you may encounter fertility challenges.
General Information
- RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association, is the go-to site for information about infertility. Their website includes information on the biology of infertility, the medical options for treating it, insurance coverage, and more. They also have a special page on LGBTQ Family Building Options.
- Family Equality offers a number of family-building resources, including a glossary, family-building grants to help with fertility and address infertility, information specific to trans family building, and more.
- ReproductiveFacts.org, from the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM), is a reputable, if not necessarily all-gender-inclusive, source of information.
- FertilityIQ offers information, profiles and reviews for doctors and clinics, as well as paid courses on all aspects of fertility, LGBTQ and otherwise.
- Trans Fertility Co. provides trans-specific information on many topics, including fertility preservation and the impact of hormone regimens on fertility.
Broadening the Definition and Expanding Coverage
RESOLVE also works on legislation across the country to ensure equal access to family building options for all. Part of this work includes revising the traditional definition of infertility (“the inability to achieve pregnancy after one year of regular, unprotected sexual intercourse”) to be more inclusive of all families. They now define it thus:
“Infertility” means a disease, condition or status characterized by:
- the failure to establish a pregnancy or to carry a pregnancy to live birth after regular, unprotected sexual intercourse, or
- a person’s inability to reproduce either as a single individual or with their partner without medical intervention, or
- a licensed physician’s findings based on a patient’s medical, sexual and reproductive history, age, physical findings and/or diagnostic testing.
RESOLVE uses this updated definition in its model legislation and model benefits for employers. This is crucial for many LGBTQ folks, because most insurance companies will only cover fertility treatments with a medical diagnosis of infertility. If a person or couple has “social infertility,” they’re often out of luck. (Of course, not all queer couples are socially infertile, and I don’t want to imply that—but many LGBTQ people do encounter this challenge.)
The good news, though? Some companies are starting to offer fertility benefits without needing a medical diagnosis and preauthorization, as I discussed a few years ago. And RESOLVE notes in its 2021 Survey on Fertility Benefits that it asked companies that provide coverage for IVF and IUI (intrauterine insemination) whether these benefits were “specifically designed and communicated to be available to LGBTQ+ or single employees. This would mean, for example, that a clinical diagnosis of infertility based on heterosexual intercourse would not be required for coverage.” The results? “Over a third (35%) of respondents say they designed the benefit to be available to LGBTQ+ and/or single employees and made that clear in the benefit communication.” That’s progress, though still far from where we need to be.
- Interested in advocating for such benefits at your employer? RESOLVE has resources to help you there, too. (The RESOLVE website itself still needs updating in at least one place with the more inclusive definition, though.)
- Looking for state-by-state laws on what assisted reproductive procedures must be covered? Both RESOLVE and the ASRM have the data.
Medical Providers
Looking for a medical provider to help? Try:
- Family Equality’s LGBTQ+ Family Building Directory
- The ASRM’s directory of practicing members
- FertilityIQ’s directory of providers and crowdsourced reviews (not necessarily LGBTQ specific)
Love and Loss
For some LGBTQ people, infertility falls under the third bullet point of RESOLVE’s definition. Conception is difficult even with medical help, and can take many tries. I am not a medical professional or therapist, so the best advice I can give is: You’re not alone. You deserve as much of a chance to form your family as any other person or couple, no matter your sexual or gender identity. You might want to join any of the many Facebook groups for queer parents or specifically for those trying to conceive (TTC), which can be found through a simple search. Folks there often share stories of their fertility challenges and offer each other support.
Additionally, I recommend:
- Reproductive Losses: Challenges to LGBTQ Family-Making, by Christa Craven (Routledge), explains that the past few years, with renewed attacks on LGBTQ rights after previous gains, “have created more pressure than ever for queer people to marry, have children, and create public narratives of LGBTQ progress.” This means that “losses, challenges, and disruptions to stories of ‘successful’ LGBTQ family-making are often silenced, both personally and politically.” Craven, a cultural and medical anthropologist at the College of Wooster, tries to break the silence by drawing on interviews with 54 queer people who experienced loss as gestational parents, non-gestational parents with gestational partners, or through adoption loss (when a child is reclaimed by their birth family before the adoption is finalized), as well as from her own experience with pregnancy loss. She explores the queer-specific nuances of how her subjects experienced grief, the support (or lack thereof) available to them, how they commemorated their losses and found resiliency, and the intersections of social class, race, and religion.
You can also check my database under the “Infertility” tag to find other books on the topic, particularly a number of memoirs. (I recognize that these memoirs, all by White, cisgender, women couples, represent only a small segment of LGBTQ people who may experience infertility. I would love to add memoirs by people with —please let me know if you know of any.) Additionally, find more general books on LGBTQ family creation by filtering by the “Family creation” tag in the “Grown-up books” category.
Best wishes in your journey. I wish you love and support along the way.