Information and Resources for Queer Parents After the Fall of Roe

• Health and Safety, Politics and Law • abortion, reproductive rights, resource

The Supreme Court has ruled there is no federal right to an abortion—casting doubt upon a host of other rights. Here are some resources for queer parents and prospective parents wondering what to do next both to protect their families and to fight back.

Information and resources for queer parents after the fall of Roe

Yesterday’s Supreme Court decision in Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health, is a disastrous blow for many, including queer people, with the heaviest burdens falling on families of color and those with limited financial resources.

As I explained in my earlier post, overturning Roe v. Wade not only has implications for abortion access (or lack thereof), but could also have a negative impact in other areas, including assisted reproduction when one is trying to become pregnant. Although the majority opinion in Dobbs tried to reassure us otherwise, Justice Clarence Thomas’ concurring opinion made it clear some conservatives are also aiming to restrict or overturn the right to birth control, marriage equality, and private, consensual sexual relations between adults. As Jennifer Pizer, acting chief legal officer of Lambda Legal, explained:

In addition to posing an existential threat to everyone who can become pregnant, this ruling puts at risk all the liberty and autonomy rights secured by decades of case law both before and after Roe v. Wade. These bedrock rights of freedom and equality have been critical to the rights to privacy about other medical decisions, the freedom to use birth control, of interracial couples to marry, and transgender rights, as well as to Lambda Legal’s victories in Lawrence v. Texas (which struck down laws criminalizing same-sex relationships) and Obergefell v. Hodges (which made marriage equality the law of the land). The Court’s assurances today that the only liberty at issue is the freedom not to continue a pregnancy, provide little comfort given the now-obviously-hollow assurances offered in Senate confirmation hearings that abortion rights are settled law. Make no mistake: today’s decision threatens all of these fundamental personal rights. It is an extremist assault on the privacy, self-determination, dignity, and equality of every person in our country.

What to do? This is an evolving question. Here are some answers and resources as of this moment:

Fight Back

Know How to Access Abortion

If you or someone you know needs an abortion, note:

Protect Your Parentage

Many queer parents I know are more worried than ever about the need to secure legal protections for their families (though securing your legal parentage is a good idea whether federal marriage equality is overturned or not). Simply being on your child’s birth certificate is not enough to guarantee full legal parental rights for nonbiological parents, since a birth certificate is not a court document. When a married, nonbiological parent is placed on a birth certificate without an adoption, court order, or equivalent, it is because the state recognizes the marriage and presumes any children of that marriage to be children of both spouses. If the family travels to a jurisdiction that does not recognize the marriage, the marital presumption of parentage likewise disappears. And as this recent Oklahoma case shows, the marital presumption may even be challenged for same-sex parents in their home states.

This means nonbiological/nongestational parents should get a confirmatory, co-parent (second-parent) or stepparent adoption, or a court order/decree of parentage. A few states have a streamlined confirmatory adoption process so that no home studies, background checks, or court appearances (and thus no expensive lawyers) are necessary; several other states and jurisdictions allow courts to waive home studies on a case-by-case basis. Note, too, that same-sex couples must be married to access stepparent adoptions, although they may do so in any state; confirmatory adoptions are only available statewide in some states, although both married and unmarried couples may access them.

Additionally, 11 states now allow nonbiological/nongestational parents of any gender to establish legal parentage via a simple, free Voluntary Acknowledgment of Parentage (VAP) form that may be filed at the hospital right after the birth. GLAD tells us “federal law provides that VAPs are the equivalent of a court order of parentage.” These have not yet been tested in court with respect to same-sex couples, however, so GLAD still recommends also completing a confirmatory adoption.

See more in my 2020 post here, with insight from GLAD Senior Staff Attorney Patience Crozier, and also note:

Establish Other Legal Protections

All couples should ideally have wills, powers of attorney, health care proxies, and living wills (advance healthcare directives), but the need is even greater for LGBTQ folks, married or not. Many of us who were coupled before marriage equality relied on these documents when they were the only protections we had. It could be that in some states, they will be our only ones again. Here’s a quick overview from CNBC on what they are all about. Whether you complete these via a lawyer or through do-it-yourself online services is up to you; my sense is that if you can, seeing a lawyer who has experience working with LGBTQ families will get you more airtight, personalized documents.

One additional thing you can do on your own is to make sure that the beneficiary designations on your bank and retirement accounts and insurance policies are  up to date.

All of this often falls under the heading of “estate planning,” which sounds like it’s only for the wealthy—but really, these legal protections are important for anyone, particularly queer people, no matter what your financial circumstances.

Find a Lawyer

I am not a lawyer, but you can find one here:

Got questions? These major LGBTQ legal organizations each offer helplines that can address questions, provide attorney referrals, and direct you further:

Educate Your Kids

Abortion is health care, and children should learn about it in age-appropriate ways as they do any other health-related topics. A few queer-inclusive books on the topic that may be of interest include:

  • What’s an Abortion Anyway? by queer doula Carly Manes and illustrated by Emulsify, offers children of picture-book age a simple, thoughtful, and gender-inclusive look at what it means to have an abortion. Full review.
  • My Body My Choice: The Fight for Abortion Rights, by author and queer mom Robin Stevenson (Orca), is both a history and a call to action. Combining text, images, quotes, maps, charts, and more into an engaging package, it offers a look at what abortion is, how it became criminalized, and the generations of activists who have fought for reproductive freedom. The book is aimed at grades 8 through 12. Full review.
  • You Know, Sex: Bodies, Gender, Puberty, and Other Things, by Cory Silverberg and Fiona Smyth, covers much more than abortion, but does touch on it as part of its inclusive look at puberty, within a positive, empowering framework grounded in social justice and body autonomy. For ages 10 and up. Full review.

For More Information

  • [Updated 6/30/2022] COLAGE, Family Equality, GLAD, and NCLR have created and released a guide for “What LGBTQ+ Families Need to Know” (PDF) after the Dobbs decision. It’s an evolving document, but offers a look at some frequently asked questions and the answers as known now. I’m happy to say there’s a lot of overlap with what I wrote above, but each of us has also offered some different points and perspectives, so I hope you’ll read both.
  • [Updated, 7/15/2022] Polly Crozier, senior staff attorney at GLBTQ Legal Advocates and Defenders (GLAD), and Julie Gonen, federal policy director for the National Center for Lesbian Rights (NCLR), shared their thoughts with me on “How LGBTQ Parents Can Protect Their Families After Dobbs.”
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