Sixteen years ago today, my spouse and I got legally married after 13 years together—three years to the day after the ruling that made Massachusetts the first U.S. state to have marriage equality. And today, the U.S. Senate could act on a bill to ensure that our marriage will remain legal. I can’t believe that’s even in question, but here we are. It’s a propitious date, however, for even more reasons.
Yes, marriage equality should be settled law. The U.S. Supreme Court, however, in overturning Roe v. Wade, has thrown a host of rights related to personal and bodily autonomy into question, as Justice Clarence Thomas showed in his concurring opinion. He questions marriage equality against the will of the vast majority of Americans, including a majority of Republicans. That means the Respect for Marriage Act (RMA), which I wrote more about earlier this week, has turned out to be a necessary piece of legislation. When even the LDS Church, historically one of marriage equality’s fiercest opponents, has come out in support of the RMA, I’m hopeful that it’s going to pass. (Just to make sure, call your senators now, at 202.224.3121, and urge them to support it.)
November 18 would be a significant time for this to happen, for it’s a momentous date for the LGBTQ community in other ways, too. In England and Wales, November 18, 2003, marked the repeal of the Section 28 law that had since May 1988 forbidden “the teaching in any maintained school of the acceptability of homosexuality as a pretended family relationship.” The law had been the fear-driven response of Margaret Thatcher’s Conservative Party to the AIDS crisis of the 1980s. We’ve come so far since then in many ways, which is why the threat to marriage equality right now feels like such a huge step backwards.
And on November 18, 1960, astronomer Frank Kameny began the process of appealing to the U.S. Supreme Court after being fired from his job in the U.S. Army’s Army Map Service for being gay. They didn’t take the case, but this was the first time someone had pursued a civil rights claim there based on sexual orientation. Kameny went on to leave a lasting legacy of LGBTQ activism. In his honor, Pride in STEM has declared November 18 to be LGBTQIA+ STEM Day. (Side note: See my October post, “Science Gets Queer,” for some fun stuff about LGBTQ families and STEM.)
Additionally, this week is Transgender Awareness Week, a time to both celebrate trans identities and (for us cisgender folks) to learn more about how to honor and support transgender people. This year, it’s a good reminder that our efforts to shore up marriage equality shouldn’t distract us from other important matters, like the broader Equality Act and fighting the awful surge of anti-transgender legislation and policies around the country.
My spouse and I didn’t intend to have our legal wedding on such a significant date. We chose November 18th because it fit our schedules, and only realized the coincidence of the date when our justice of the peace mentioned it. We were, however, one of the many couples to use a quote from Massachusetts Chief Justice Margaret Marshall’s decision as part of our ceremony. We still view our original anniversary, in the spring, as our “real” one, with the November date being simply the occasion that the state caught up with what we’d known for 13 years. Still, we try to honor the day as a milestone (though not the beginning) of our lives together.
I’m off to eat cake and be with the woman I love. I hope by the end of the day, the Senate will have given me another reason to celebrate.