Queer Parenting in a Cishet World

LGBT Parenting By Any Other Name

I have a love-hate relationship with the term “LGBT parenting.” On the one hand, I often say I write a column about LGBT parenting, insofar as I write for and about LGBT people who are parents. On the other, I believe that we LGBT folks change diapers, sing lullabies, help with homework, and drive to soccer practice like any other parent. There’s no “LGBT” way (or even, separately, lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender ways) of doing those things—which makes me doubt whether there is such a thing as “LGBT parenting.” Is there?

Five Years of Parenting and Progress

(I wrote this for my newspaper column a couple of months ago, but never posted it. Enjoy.)

This column marks five years of Mombian columns for me. Looking back, it’s been a time of tremendous change for LGBT families and for me personally. I’ve learned a lot over these years, both as a parent and a chronicler of our LGBT parenting experiences. The best part of doing this column has been speaking with a wide variety of LGBT parents, authors, activists, and others working towards equality for our families. If my words here mean anything, it is because they have been informed by theirs. Here are a few of the things I’ve gleaned along the way.

The Kids Are All Right–But Hear It from Them

Although it’s been nominated for four Academy Awards, including Best Picture, most critics feel The Kids Are All Right, Lisa Cholodenko’s film about two lesbian moms, their teen children, and their sperm donor, won’t take home any prizes tonight. That’s okay. Whether it wins, or even if you disliked it (as many in the lesbian

How Marriage Bans Teach Children Marriage Isn’t Necessary

(Originally published as my Mombian newspaper column.) Parenting took center stage in the closing arguments of the Prop 8 case on June 16. Attorney Ted Olson, by most accounts, made a superb argument for marriage equality. There was one point he left out, however, that is worth exploring here. Attorney Charles Cooper, speaking for the

Questions from Our Kids

Since we’ve had some great comment threads here about parenting issues lately, here’s another topic for discussion: What’s the question from your child(ren) that you’ve found most difficult to answer (LGBT-related or not)? OR What’s the potential question that you are most anxious about trying to answer? Leave a comment—or your advice for others about

Dazed and Confused

Amelie Gillette of The A.V. Club has a zinger of a post on the far-right and marriage equality. This qualifies as the quote of the week: Now they’re saying that we can’t have gay marriage because it would confuse the kids. But you know what else confuses kids? Everything: Time zones. Books without pictures. Cargo

Who’s Your Daddy?

As promised, here is another in my series of quotes from Who’s Your Daddy? And Other Writings on Queer Parenting. I’ll be running them for a couple of weeks courtesy of the book’s editor, Rachel Epstein. I’m choosing the quotes I feel are most intriguing and thought provoking; I don’t always agree with the sentiments,

No Surprises Here

From the “fun with scientific conclusions” department: A new study in the journal Child Development has found that babies who are the result of unplanned or mistimed pregnancies “had fewer resources [including parental support and learning materials] than intended siblings” and “Parents’ emotional resources to older children decreased after the birth of a mistimed sibling.”

Cupcakes

Sugar High

The gay-straight alliance at one of the high schools in our area was sponsoring a showing of Love Makes a Family, the great traveling exhibit of photographs and interviews featuring LGBT families. Yesterday, the exhibit was open to the public. Even though I’d seen it before, I took my son after preschool.

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