A Friend Like You

This ode to friendship not only encourages children to make friends, but to be an accepting one and an ally, and to be friends with all kinds of people. The book opens with the image of a busy urban community, full of people, as a White boy greets a Black girl who is moving into a new home in the neighborhood. Two moms, hand in hand, holding a baby, are shown just behind the boy; from a later image, it is clear they are his parents.

We follow the boy and girl throughout the book as they get to know each other and as we see images of other children (diverse in many ways) playing together and being friends. Sometimes one’s friends will look like you; sometimes the opposite, we read. Sometimes they will believe what you do; sometimes they won’t, we learn, as we see a White child lighting a menorah as a Black child looks on. (The intent seems to have been that the White child is Jewish and the Black child not, but let’s remember, too, that Jews come in all colors.) One image shows a child who reads as a girl holding a teddy bear next to a friend who reads as male and is holding two dolls—a nice bit of gender creative play.

The book offers further wisdom about friendship: We should learn to get along with those who are different by discovering things we like to do together, even though it’s also okay if friends sometimes like to do different things. We should be curious, because “asking questions is a good way to start friendships,” but we should also be good listeners, and importantly, be there for our friends when they need us. We should also be forgiving and thoughtful with our friends, and share not only toys, but also ideas and dreams.

“One of the most powerful things” we can be for a friend, however, is an ally. This means “a friend can trust you to stand up and speak up for them, even when they’re not there…. A friend and ally will always have your back. And you will always have theirs.” This isn’t an entirely satisfactory explanation, since allyship (in the social justice sense, not the geopolitical one) is specifically about standing up for someone who is different from you, when you are in a position of privilege and they are not. That’s a lot to cover on a single picture book page, though, so perhaps we shouldn’t be too critical; the image on the page also shows the White boy standing just behind the Black girl, his hand supportively on her shoulder, as she stands with her fists clenched facing two other children who may have bullying on their minds. That still doesn’t make allyship entirely clear, but the page will hopefully inspire children and their grown-ups to have further conversations about the topic.

Overall, though, this is a lovely book about friendship across difference, with engaging illustrations and soothing text delivering powerful messages.

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