As I Am

A child named Kai tells readers about their nonbinary identity and the loving relationship they have with their cat, Sky. Although some people don’t understand Kai’s gender, Kai can count on Sky and their real (human) friends to do so.

The book opens as Kai explains that they and Sky love to play together, and Kai comforts Sky during thunderstorms. Sky also doesn’t care what Kai looks like or how they dress. “She loves me as I am,” Kai asserts.

Kai further explains that since they were a baby, Sky didn’t care if they were a boy or a girl. “You see, I’m nonbinary,” Kai tells readers. “I’m beyond either gender.” Kai says that all of their friends are either boys or girls, and that their own nonbinary gender “makes some people confused.”

Kai explains it simply: They use “they” pronouns. They have long hair and painted fingernails, like to wear overalls and sparkly shoes, and to play with trains and dolls.

Still, Kai says there’s no place for them when the teacher lines up the class by boys and girls. “Why do I have to choose?” they ask. School can be hard, because some kids don’t understand. Sometimes Kai is lonely. Their real friends, however, see the real Kai, which makes their heart sing—and at the end of the day, Sky is there to love Kai, “as I am.”

“And so do I,” Kai concludes, a lovely note of self-affirmation.

While there’s no real story arc here, the book may serve a pedagogical purpose in explaining nonbinary identities and may offer a supportive reflection to nonbinary children. More than 20 pages of backmatter also explain gender to parents, educators, and other adults, and suggest ways of discussing gender with children at different ages, as well as engaging in gender-conscious caregiving.

Kai reads as White or as a light-skinned person of color.

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