Andy Passchier has already cowritten or illustrated several excellent picture books about gender identity (among various LGBTQ topics), but this one offers a slightly deeper dive for children moving beyond simple picture books into (still illustrated) chapter books.
Passchier begins by noting that the book “has a lot of questions you can ask yourself or talk about with people you trust,” but also acknowledging that sometimes the questions may feel overwhelming. It’s okay to take a break, they say, or to skip some and come back later.
The first few chapters cover the difference between sex and gender; gender roles and expectations; and what it means to be cisgender, transgender, and nonbinary (as well as various nonbinary identities like genderfluid or agender). Passchier wisely notes, however, that while some people like having a label, others don’t, and that’s okay—as is changing one’s label.
Another chapter looks at the gender binary, how that is socially constructed in Western society, and how numerous non-Western cultures acknowledge more than two genders. We also learn about gender expression and exploration (including clothing, pronouns, and more), as well as coming out.
Importantly, Passchier stresses that each reader is the only one who knows whether they are cis, trans, nonbinary, or something else. “It’s something you’ll learn about yourself over time, or maybe you already have some idea,” they write. This process may involve talking with others, reading more books, and trying things out to “see what makes you feel best about yourself.” They offer some suggestions, like “[creating] a video game character that feels like you,” or “dressing up in different clothes.”
Overall, the tone is upbeat and positive, but Passchier doesn’t hesitate to address dealing with bias, bullying, and gatekeeping around gender. They tell readers that adults in power “might try to prevent you from seeking medical help, using the bathroom you want, or accessing information because they don’t respect your identity” and that “Sometimes when people are different from others they can face bullying.” Nevertheless, they offer numerous suggestions for finding support and allies, as well as positive skills to use when “feeling down.”
Along with the clear and accessible text, Passchier’s always-cheery illustrations help explain topics and add interest to the pages. Five named characters of different gender identities, expressions, and skin color offer ongoing points of reference throughout the book, but are supplemented with unnamed others. Information boxes throughout define key terms.
If you and your kids enjoyed any of the previous books on gender that Passchier has co-written and/or illustrated (including They, He, She: Words for You and Me; Being You: A First Conversation About Gender; and What Are Your Words? A Book About Pronouns), chances are you’ll enjoy this one, too. If you aren’t familiar with them yet, I encourage you to check them out—and use Gender Identity for Kids when your kids are ready to move beyond them into chapter books. It’s a helpful, affirming volume that should be of great use for this age group.
